Chaos Hunter
by sakurademonalchemist
Summary: The Lord of Nightmares has made a bet with 'God' over the fate of humanity. Namely that of the Apocalypse and how to give his children even more headaches. Her contribution...Lina Inverse! Now Lina's stuck in a world without magic with only Xellos to keep her from blowing everyone up. Only she never expected to fall for a hunter who's slated to be Lucifer's meat suit!
1. Chapter 1

It was supposed to be a date. And yet Sam felt...disjointed...for lack of a better word whenever he tried talking to Jess. Brady had introduce them, and for a few dates everything was...okay. Normal, he would have to say.

But he was a Hunter, one currently off-the-grid for the moment while he tried his luck at college, and that meant he was hyper-aware of certain facts.

Fact one, while Jess was a nice girl she wouldn't last five minutes in a hunt. Fact two, even if he tried to stay out of it he knew perfectly well that his father and quite possibly his brother would eventually drag him back in. Fact three, Jess hated dogs and was allergic to them, but Sam loved them. Not to mention they had _vastly_ different interests on things he wasn't budging.

Despite the crap he had gone through, he still liked the occult.

And Jess... Jess hated it because she was Catholic.

So after the fourth date, they both conceded the inevitable and went their separate ways.

Sam wondered if he would ever find a girlfriend who wouldn't qualify as a series of one-night stands when he saw her.

A waitress of fire-red hair and equally fiery eyes. Eyes that bespoke of passion, iron and a fierce will to get things done. She wore a pair of earrings that only highlighted her face, despite how big they were...they almost looked like gold. She had a decent bust, but not big enough to give her back problems. She was almost a foot shorter than he was, but then again he had hit a growth spurt when he turned sixteen.

In short she looked like a girl who might make a good girlfriend if one were to put the time and effort into getting to know her...and were willing to put up with her personality.

She was the sort of person Dean _might_ have been interested in, but once he got to know her would run far, far away.

And after the string of bad luck he had with women lately, he was willing to put in the effort to at least see if she was worth it.

* * *

"So Sam, have you scored yet with that hot red head you've been seeing or...?" said Brady.

"Her name is Lily, and no. I don't even think she knows I exist," said Sam.

He had started to frequent the bar she worked at whenever it was her shift. Sure it drained his cash pretty quick, but at least he got to see her.

Brady laughed.

 _Later that night_

Sam was about to leave sight of the bar when a familiar face appeared. It was Lily.

"You've been at that bar every night on my shift for the past two weeks. I want to know why," she said flatly.

"Uh..."

Sam couldn't admit he was interested in her. And the abrupt way she confronted him would scare a lot of people off. Seeing her patiently waiting for an explanation, Sam realized this was his best chance.

"I guess I wasn't as subtle as I thought I was," he admitted, slightly embarrassed.

"Ya think?" she replied, amusement in her voice now. "So what brought you to the bar I work with every night for two straight weeks?"

Sam decided to take the plunge.

"You," he admitted.

"Me?"

She sounded honestly baffled.

Her mind seemed to take a moment to process this.

"You mean to tell me you've be coming here for the past two weeks because...you like me?"

"Let me guess, you have a boyfriend already," said Sam. He had hoped his attempts to get to know her wouldn't be in vain.

"No, it's just you're the only one _brave_ enough to actually admit you're interested in me for a very long time. Most guys generally don't want to go out with someone who can kick their ass or isn't very lady like," she said honestly.

Hell, just seeing her demolish a buffet is usually enough to put guys off. That is, if seeing her eat a small village's worth of fish whenever they went camping didn't do it.

"I can't believe no one's asked you out before," said Sam.

"I'm not. Generally speaking most of the idiots who come to the bar just want to get into my pants, and those that don't tend to get put off by my eating habits or my personality."

She wasn't about to let some guy take over and take charge. She preferred to be in control, as she was used to Gourry's passive personality and the way he generally let her lead. And the few passive guys she had met couldn't fight their way out of a wet paper bag and had looked at her strangely for trying to teach them _how_ to fight. It was ridiculous!

Sam had the sudden impression of a red haired female Dean, only one that didn't drink like a horse or hump everything in sight. This was someone who was used to being the dominate one in the relationship, and who wouldn't give control that easily unless there was a damn good reason for it. But at the same time he also could tell that her loyalty was unquestioned and she was more of a fighter than anything.

"So...do you want to go out some time?" he asked hopefully.

"You know that buffet down on at..."

Sam nodded.

"Meet me there on Friday at 8. We can get to know each other a bit more then. Oh, and by the way Lily isn't actually my name. It's just the one I use to keep people from looking me up."

"What is your name?"

"Lina."

* * *

"You finally managed to score a date with the 'red-haired hottie'?" said Brady. He slapped Sam's shoulder. "Way to go Sam!"

"She seemed honestly shocked that I was even interested. Now if you'll excuse me I have a date on Friday."

"Where?"

"That buffet place next to the coffee house. Though I think she was joking about wearing a disguise in order to get in."

Brady blinked, before he remembered an odd comment he had heard from one of the servers about a red haired chick eating them out of house and home whenever she showed up and charging her double.

"This chick you're trying to get a date out wouldn't happen to wear a diamond pendant that looks like a weird star would she?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I've heard things about her. She's considered the buffet destroyer because she goes in and practically eats everything there," said Brady.

Sam blinked.

"Seriously?"

"I overheard some of the servers at that all-you-can-eat Chinese place talking about it. Something about how she only goes to buffets because it's cheaper than anywhere else."

Weird, but fortunately it did ease some of his worries about her being a demon or something. He only knew of humans who could eat like that, and they were competitive eaters.

Sam got ready and left for the buffet. When he found Lina, she really was wearing a disguise, though not a very good one.

She seemed pleased he actually showed up.

Once they were seated, the first he had to ask was if she really was a buffet destroyer.

Lina blushed, though it was more out of mild embarrassment.

"You know how certain activities eat up calories like crazy?"

Sam's mind drifted to hunting and how after certain cases he was hungry enough to eat two pizzas on his own. He nodded.

"I practice certain arts that pretty much mean I'll never have to worry about being fat, but as a consequence give me a stomach almost as efficient as a competitive eater," said Lina.

Honestly she didn't know what they were complaining about. She learned her lesson after the first time she got chased out of a buffet line, and at least she learned to space out her food so she got the maximum impact and didn't gross out everyone else. Hell, the reason she became a waitress was because she had figured out how to balance the plates on her arms without spilling a thing.

The only reason she picked a bar was so she wasn't tempted to eat everything and she had ready access to combustible materials. Molotov cocktails were _extremely_ useful at causing damage.

While Sam raised an eyebrow at the large number of plates (she used the same one at least five times in order to disguise how much she was actually eating, another useful trick) he wasn't horrified. Honestly, he had seen far more disturbing things than someone eating that much.

The two of them quickly shared horror stories about their respective older siblings (Lina had an older sister named Luna) and the crap they each put them through as a kid and developed an easy rhythm together. It felt nice, and aside from a few odd quirks she wasn't nearly as bad as he had feared.

She was odd, but rather fun to be around. So when he offered to take her out to a rather interesting fireworks show to celebrate the recent victory over another school at football (Sam didn't really follow sports that much) she took him up on it.

They simply clicked.

Lina was aggressive, brash, and very much a firecracker, but one that would remain loyal to you as long as you were loyal to her. Sam was passive-aggressive and perfectly fine with someone else being the dominate one in the relationship so long as they let him do things at his own pace and didn't try to smother him like Dean had. But at the same time he wasn't so passive-aggressive that he didn't know how to use the gun he had in his sock drawer.

That seemed to be the main reason Lina agreed to date him...he owned knives and knew how to use the damn things without cutting himself in the process, yet at the same time he was perfectly willing to let her do things her way without trying to take control.

Because while Lina wasn't abusive or controlling, she did enjoy a certain amount of freedom without any strings to tie her down. Things that a guy took for granted, but at the same time balked if a woman did them. He knew for a fact his brother wouldn't have let Lina do her thing without looking at her sideways.

Like how she always kept her knives sharp or left most of her actual possessions in a storage locker whenever she set up shop, or how she followed certain commodities. Specifically jewels. And while she was a pagan, she was one that kept her faith discreet.

Sam honestly thought she was a Wiccan, though not one that had a coven. It would explain why some of the occult things he found in her house (he had moved in with her three months in, having realized she was the best he was likely to get without completely losing his hunter's edge) wouldn't look out of place at Bobby's house.

* * *

Lina and Sam were an almost perfect couple. She worked at the bar and took the odd class at the college, while he studied law. She was unusually well aware of the oddest laws in the books that even _he_ had never heard of. The only weird thing was that she didn't like Brady, and was unusually fascinated by monster movies. Though she couldn't stand _Twilight_. Too fake for her tastes, especially the vampire-werewolf debate. Sam agreed wholeheartedly. None of the vampires or werewolves he hunted would tamely allow the other side to live so close.

Lina seemed surprised, then very pleased that Sam actually knew how to bless water like in the movies, and Sam once caught her trying it out like some sort of weird spell one night while having a midnight snack raid.

Sam said nothing the next morning, but it was still there. The fact she _listened_ to him on matters of the occult.

And the protection amulet she gave him for Christmas. It was similar to the one she had around her neck, except instead of diamond it was an emerald. He wondered how much she had to spend in order to get it, or how she found one that had such a fascinating cut.

Either way she claimed to have blessed it with the agreement of 'The Lady' which he thought was code for the moon goddess Selene or something. He didn't really care, and he had seen weirder.

Like the looks Brady shot the amulet when he thought Sam wasn't looking. Looks that had Sam itching to take some salt and 'accidentally' spill it on his best friend. Quite a few things reacted badly to the seemingly innocent substance, and you could carry it with you without drawing any attention.

But if Brady was giving him a bad feeling, then Lina's old friend Xellos (and wasn't that a weird name, but he looked pretty foreign so that was okay) gave him a downright _bad_ vibe all around. The thing was that he could sense Xellos had little interest in Sam or in humans in general except to annoy them by offering tantalizing tidbits of information, then claiming it was all a secret. Highly annoying, but not overtly dangerous. Even Lina admitted that she only trusted Xellos because she knew she couldn't really trust him unless he had an agenda that happened to coincide with whatever she was doing. And even then, he wouldn't be too helpful because of it.

Helpful, but not so much that you could always count on it. It was surprisingly comforting to know that right off the bat, instead of finding out the hard way.

* * *

Dean's return in Sam's life coincided with a week before Sam planned to propose. Lina wasn't perfect, but she was infinitely easier to live with than Jess was. They just clicked.

That being said it could have gone a lot better than how Lina reacted to Dean breaking into her house at three in the morning.

"HOLY SHIT!"

Dean had right to swear, considering Lina damn near gelded him with a knife between the legs. He had actually fallen on his ass the second he saw it flying towards him.

She had a second knife, which was more of a long curved dagger, in her right hand and fully prepared to fight.

"Dean?"

"Sam? What the hell man?"

"You broke into her house. You deserve anything you get if you're that stupid," shrugged Sam.

Lina hated thieves (well actually she said something about bandits but he translated it to thieves) so anyone dumb enough to break into their house when they were trying to sleep earned anything she came up with in retaliation.

"Sam, who is this?" asked Lina a little too sweetly. He barely refrained from shuddering.

"This is Dean, my older brother."

"The man-whore Dean?" she said raising an eyebrow.

Dean shot him an annoyed look, which he shrugged off with ease.

"Why are you here Dean?"

"I need your help. Dad's gone missing and he refuses to answer my calls," said Dean.

"Dad's gone missing before. For weeks in fact," said Sam tersely.

"Not like this."

"I'm sure he's fine."

"He skipped out on a hunt Sam. The last I heard from him he was leaving the rest to me. When has he ever done that?" countered Dean.

"What was he hunting?" asked Lina, having patiently listened.

Dean shared a look with his brother.

"Maybe we should finish this in private."

"No. Whatever you've got to tell me can be told to Lina. I trust her."

More like he suspected she knew about hunters, but hadn't thought to bother to see if Sam was one or just knew about them as well.

"Fine. Dad was after what I think was a ghost, but I have no idea what kind. All I got out of the last call he gave was some EVP."

"EVP?"

"Electronic Voice Phenomena. Sometimes you can get a ghost's voice on something recording audio," explained Sam.

While Lina was very self-sufficient, she was somewhat out of touch when it came to technology. Her stove was _gas_ for crying out loud, and if not for Sam she wouldn't be able to do more than use the bare bones of a computer outside of putting in orders. However if you threw her into the older stuff she took to it like a fish to water.

"Look, can you help me figure out where dad went or not?"

"I can't. I have an interview on Monday..." started Sam, but Lina cut him off.

"Will this trip take more than a few days to get back?"

"It's less than a day's full drive to get to, so no," said Dean.

"Lina?"

"Go. I can handle a few days without you here and I know you'll never forgive yourself if something happened to your dad and you only found out second-hand. Besides, from the sound of it your brother actually misses you enough to track you down, despite the fact you never gave him your new address."

Sam kept forgetting to file his address with the college, and most of his mail went to a P.O. Box anyway because he once had his apartment mail broken into twice.

So Sam reluctantly went with Dean. At least living with Lina had kept his skills at using knives sharp, even if she actually had to correct his grip several times because she kept disarming him with the wooden ones when they sparred on the weekends.

She hated having a boyfriend who didn't know how to use a bloody knife properly, so coming across Sam had been a pleasant surprise, even if he didn't know how to hold it right, by her standards.

"So who was the red haired babe?"

"My girlfriend. Who I am seriously thinking of proposing to very soon."

Dean blinked twice.

"Seriously?"

"She's more interesting than half the girls on campus and she didn't give me the fish eye because I own a knife. Besides, I'm fairly certain the only downside is that she's a Wiccan."

"How can you tell?"

"She knows home remedies a little too well, she uses a common ritual dagger for something as common as cutting up vegetables, and she prays to someone she calls 'The Lady' whenever she's had a trying day. Not to mention how heavily she's in the occult."

"Not a witch?"

"Definitely not. She took one look at the list of things inside a basic revenge hex bag and set the thing on fire stating there were easier ways to get back at someone without having to rely on questionable ingredients. Though the way she looked at me after she saw that said that if I brought anything like them into her house again I might be introduced to some of those ways before I was kicked to the curb."

Dean winced.

"Which one?"

"Freshly ground remains from a newborn infant that was murdered," winced Sam.

"Gross. Still, at least you know she's okay with you being a hunter."


	2. Chapter 2

Lina honestly did _not_ like Brady. If Xellos was questionably useful, if highly irritating when you really needed answers, Brady made her want to jump into her admittedly large bathtub filled head to toe with bleach. Last time she ignored that feeling she had landed up in this world after The Lady killed Hellmaster Philbrizzo and sent her here.

Xellos was the _only_ familiar face she saw anymore, and even then he wasn't exactly forthcoming about home. Something about how the timelines were out of sync. However he was useful in other ways, like bringing books from home...and explaining why all her black magic suddenly went from slightly overpowered to complete overkill if she wasn't careful.

Apparently when she had caught the Lord of Nightmares' attention, the Lady decided to make her a Knight in the same manner her sister was. For the most part it meant she was stuck acting as the 'Big Sister' to the Mazoku lords that tried to get into too much trouble even for them, like Hellmaster Philbrizzo when he tried to wipe out an entire world.

Soooo...pretty much what she would have done anyway, except now she was aware she had the Lady's Blessing and Xellos was only slightly less annoying to her.

But now she tapped _directly_ into the true origin of black magic instead of using the proxy of the other Dark Lords, meaning the power level was ten times larger than it was normally, her faith in the Lady meant that white magic was _almost_ as overboosted, and once she figured out how to properly channel astral magic Mazoku wouldn't know what hit them.

Right now the only thing she had to deal with Mazoku was the Ra Tilt and the Elmekia Lance and the higher level one didn't even _work_ half the time.

Lina was about to make a massive sub sandwich (Sam found it was cheaper to buy those in bulk along with the rest because it took Lina twice a long to finish it and he could usually be assured of getting _something_ to eat in the process) when she felt that same sandpaper on skin sensation she always got around Brady and some of Sam's other friends.

Almost like Mazoku, which was ridiculous because the only one she'd felt or seen was Xellos and he had the good sense to let her know he was coming, even if it was a few seconds before dropping in for a chat.

No, this felt worse than Xellos, but as unpleasant as Brady.

And wouldn't you know it, Brady waltzed in like he owned the place with this smile on his face she recognized instantly. Hellmaster had it on his face right before he died.

So the fact he started throwing some weird magic around made her realize this world was almost as bad as her birth one...it just hid magic better. And apparently jewels weren't nearly as common as they were back home, if the look Sam gave his emerald (which was actually made from scrapes of old, rather useless ones) were any indication. She would have used diamond, but for some reason people were unusually stingy about the stupid rocks. And really the only reason she gave him an emerald was because he said green was his favorite color, just like fire-red was hers.

Brady's black eyes gave her a bad feeling. So instead of playing the victim, she took initiative.

So far she ruled out fire as effective. Bastard just healed up. So she threw another bottle (this one a whiskey bottle she had jokingly practiced the blessing on that Sam taught her) and to her surprise he started screaming like she had poured acid on him or something. She grabbed the salt next and his screams became even more pained.

So pained in fact that she was quite startled when black smoke came out of him and then vanished. And then Brady fell onto the table, very obviously dead. It was like the whiskey and the salt killed him, which was patently ridiculous.

"Well this is a nuisance," said Xellos. He had waited for the demon to be dealt with, accidentally on Lina's part, but still dealt with...she was too powerful to be taken out by the things and she would have eventually figured out what caused it pain before she broke out her magic.

"What in the Lady's name was that thing?!"

"Demon. This world's version of Mazoku, though Mother had no part in their creation, and her children can pass through things they can't," said Xellos, toeing the dead body.

Lina looked at the dead Brady in disgust.

"Explains the sandpaper feeling I've been getting from him. Why did he come here?"

"Not for you. If he were after you he would have known better than to show his hand so soon. He was here to push your lover into something."

"You're being surprisingly helpful today," said Lina, now that her heart rate was back down.

"The Lady is pissed that they dared to attack her Knight so blatantly. She wants to make sure you're prepared, because he was just the first," said Xellos.

Lina's eyes grew hard, and her old self kicked in.

"Get me as many books as you can about these things, or at the very least someone who can help me barricade the house until Sam gets back."

Xellos gave her his usual cryptic smile. He dropped a few books that were useful, then got rid of the body someplace where Lina wouldn't be implicated. Considering she used blessed whiskey on him, that was behind a bar that had nothing to do with the one she worked at. Not that she needed it, considering what she had done shortly before learning they had actual laws about killing bandits in this world, but she needed some way to explain her cash flow.

* * *

Sam came home, tired, but in surprisingly good shape considering a woman in white tried to kill him. Imagine his shock finding out Lina's "protection amulet" actually did as advertised. The ghostly woman couldn't hold on to him long enough to do more than pin him down, because the amulet warmed on his skin (not hot enough to burn, but enough that he noticed it) every time she touched him for more than five seconds.

Dean had been pleasantly surprised to find his brother a little shaken and nothing more, even if he did drive his precious car into the house with that stupid ghost with him. Dean was still peeved about that.

He just wanted to crash on the bed, or even the couch...but that went out the window the second he realized several things were off.

For one thing, the table was gone. There were suspicious stains and the faint stains of something definitely not water on the carpet along with what was either sugar or salt. He was betting salt considering the cupboard he kept his salt rations was missing a canister.

Lina could cook (mostly out of necessity) but good at cleaning she was not.

So the fact there was something off made all his restrung hunter's instincts come alive and scream something was wrong.

Then he saw Lina, who looked tired and more than a little pissed about something.

"What happened?"

"Your 'friend' tried to kill me. Or at the very least he came here intent on doing something very unpleasant," said Lina flatly. She sank into the nearest chair and he saw she had the missing canister in her hand.

"What?!"

"I've been over the house putting salt lines on every single entry I could think of from the air vents to the windows and doors."

"What exactly happened?"

"Brady came over, despite the fact he knows I'm not a fan of his. Then his eyes turned black and he tried to attack me. I tried setting him on fire with a bottle of rum, but he healed too quickly. So I threw one of the whiskeys I had jokingly used as a practice bottle for the blessing you taught me and he started screaming like it was acid. I grabbed some salt, thinking it would just hurt him, or at least blind him when all of a sudden a ton of black smoke came out and fled the house. Xellos had to get rid of the body, considering he fell dead the second it was out of him," said Lina tiredly. She had clearly had a couple of sleepless nights.

"Are you alright?" asked Sam, checking his girlfriend over in concern.

"I'm just pissed! The fact some thing could come into _my_ house and try to kill me ticks me off!" said Lina, fury in her eyes.

She had immediately gone over the entire property with some ritual items and blessed the place using something Xellos had bookmarked to keep them from coming near the place. But since she was completely out of depth with these 'demons', she had been unable to sleep.

So having Sam here was something of a relief, if only because she knew that he at least had some idea of how to fight.

Then Dean came in and she heard the words 'demon', 'attack', and 'protection'. The fact she had fought one off and didn't have much of a mark on her apparently surprised Dean.

Honestly, it was like she wasn't aware of the Hunters. It was pretty much what she did out of boredom, except here it was all cloak and dagger crap.

She hated that sort of stuff. If she had to deal with some mystery, she preferred it was out in the open. At least then she could deal with it!

* * *

When she woke up in the morning, Sam and Dean were there and they seemed to argue over...something.

Before Sam could say anything Lina cut him off.

"I know you're a hunter. Your brother too, if the way he reacted to your father leaving during a hunt was a big deal. I didn't care then and I don't care now. But I do care about having some _thing_ coming into my home trying to kill me," she said flatly.

Dean stared, before he started laughing.

"You weren't kidding when you called her a firecracker," he said. She was blunt, in-your-face and entirely too unapologetic. He liked her already.

"You... you knew?"

"Xellos confirmed it when I commented on the large amount of salt in the house, and the way you casually left that stupid list of gross crap on the table. I do _not_ appreciate being compared to one of those hack witches," said Lina dangerously.

"Hack witches?" repeated Dean.

Lina rolled her eyes.

"I'm amazed a Wiccan knew about hunters," said Sam.

Lina stared at him.

"Why on earth would you call me a Wiccan? I don't follow the cycle of the seasons or any of that crap, and frankly I doubt the Lady cares about them either."

"But the occult stuff you have in here..."

"Just because I read about the occult doesn't make me a Wiccan. I could beat any of those pansies in a power match any day of the week, drunk off my ass and half awake," said Lina. "I mostly have those books to find a way to fight."

"Bobby's gonna love meeting her," said Dean.

"So what are we going to do now? Because there's no way in hell I'm sticking around here if you aren't," said Lina.

Sam looked at Dean.

"Pit stop at Bobby's?"

"Works for me. Sure he'd love to meet your girlfriend," said Dean.

"Hope your car can handle a small trailer in the back," said Lina.

"Nuh-uh. No way in hell am I putting a trailer on the back of my baby."

Sam sighed.

"How about we settle things here and meet you at Bobby's house?"

He had a storage unit of his own, across from Lina's. It was less of a headache leaving his weapons and more esoteric tomes in there.

It took them a few days to set up Sam on the online courses and for Lina to quit her job.

Fortunately his professors understood that his father had gone missing and that they needed to find him, but thanks to the internet he could at least keep up with his classes through assignments by the professors. Whether or not he could get his degree and pass the bar without sitting through the classes themselves was entirely up to him.

To be honest, Sam had been feeling rather restless anyway, and Lina's sense of adventure demanded that she go out and _do something_ more interesting than being a waitress. It wasn't like she had any kids to tie her down after all.

* * *

Bobby took one look at Lina, then at the books she was carrying.

"Three of those are outdated and the information is half-wrong," he told her. Lina scowled.

"I knew that idiot was being a little _too_ helpful. Figures he'd give me bad books," said Lina.

She was so setting Xellos on fire.

"So who's she?" asked Bobby to Sam.

"My name is Lina and I'm Sam's girlfriend. So where's your library?"

"Down the hall and on the right."

Considering he had tested her almost immediately for possession (and hadn't he been surprised learning you could bless alcohol and not just water) he let her get to work reading through his massive library. She didn't mind letting him have some of her books, though he had a better collection than she did.

Sam had lucked out when it came to picking girlfriends.

Sam and Dean stayed a few days, mostly so Sam had a chance to set up an online account with his professors and confirm he was completing his education that way.

While they got back into the swing of things, Lina would stay at Bobby's learning everything she could about the supernatural and how to fight them...while helping Bobby with the research.

"So...how did you meet Sam?"

"He was the only one brave enough to actually ask me out when I worked at a bar in Stanford. When I didn't scare him off immediately despite the fact I'm not some brainless idiot like half the other girls at campus, we talked. A few months later he moved into my house...though I never expected some jackass with black eyes to ruin it."

"How did you kill the demon?"

"Kill him? All I did was throw a blessed bottle of whiskey on the bastard and when I realized how much pain he was in I threw salt at him for good measure thinking it would hurt him more. I never thought he'd let off black smoke and then die right on my table. Stayed awake for two days waiting for Sam to get home after salting every entry into my house."

Bobby looked at the red head with approval. Trust Sam to find the one girl with some common freaking sense.

Lina could read over half his collection without any problem, and when she asked questions they weren't stupid ones. He really liked Sam's choice in women...much more sensible than Dean's usual one-night stands. The fact she _could_ read all those old languages was nothing short of a miracle in his opinion.

Bobby's phone rang, and when he picked it up it was the boys. Apparently they were going after a Wendigo and Sam felt an extra gun could be handy.

Instead Bobby sent Lina, since she tended to pack several liquor bottles, easily ripped cloth and a lighter to turn them into Molotov cocktails...and since Wendigo were killed by fire it was the perfect match.


	3. Chapter 3

"You've got to be kidding me. He sent you?" said Dean incredulous.

"Are we going to have a problem?" said Lina, raising a single red eyebrow dangerously. Sam winced. The last time she used that tone, she completely emasculated the poor bastard who pissed her off before informing them she already had a boyfriend.

And her boss had laughed his ass off the entire time she was going after him.

"What's a chick know about camping? And what's with the purse? We're not exactly hunting deer out here."

Sam, being the smarter of the two, promptly abandoned Dean to his fate.

"Maim him after we're done!" he shouted from a safe distance away. Dean blinked when he realized how far away Sam had bolted. He was actually hiding behind a tree.

"Come on Sammy, your girlfriend isn't that scary! Urk!"

Lina had gotten really pissed off, really fast when she heard Dean disparage her because she was a woman. Despite being smaller than him she was still much stronger than he gave her credit for because she lifted him clean off the ground.

"One, I hate chauvinist pigs like you. If you weren't Sam's brother I would take my dagger and geld you right now. Two, I go camping a hell of a lot more than you do asshole, and I'm good at catching game. Three, Bobby sent me because I have one hell of an aim with my Molotov cocktails and enough liquor to flambe the damn thing. And four, don't underestimate me just because my reproductive glands are inside my body, you insensitive prick. Are. We. Clear."

Dean, at that point was glad he had already used the restroom, because Lina would have damn near made him piss himself from fear. He didn't envy his brother during _that_ time of the month if she was this scary when pissed. Though at least now he knew why Sam had gotten clear of the blast zone.

"I said are we clear maggot?"

"Yes ma'am!" he said. Thank god he didn't whimper when he said it. Lina dropped him and he fell on his ass. Sam's girlfriend had the biggest set of balls (metaphorically speaking) he had ever seen. Not even his dad when he was too drunk to recognize his own sons scared him that much!

Dean made a note never to piss off Sam's girl again.

* * *

Lina allowed herself to be captured, mostly so she could kill the damn thing and be done with it. The longer she put off using her magic, the smaller the chance Sam would leave her because of it. They were still in the recent stages of their relationship, and she knew that there was every chance he might leave her.

It was pathetically easily to slip out of the bindings, because she wasn't that hurt. Okay, the thing kicked her ass originally but thanks to the Lady and the fact she knew magic she was able to heal herself on the way there and the thing didn't even notice.

With that out of the way, she was able to slip out of the bindings, and then heal the only survivor. The other poor bastard was already dead.

"Stay close and whatever you do don't get in my line of fire or tell anyone what you're about to see. Got it?" she hissed at him.

What Dean had been unaware of was that her time of the month had already passed (thank the Lady), but the bitchiness would stick around for another two days.

Lina went through the tunnels, keeping an ear and an eye out for the Wendigo. The boys still had her bag, but they weren't as good at aiming. Odds were Dean would just drink it after this was over.

That was when her nose caught wind of the thing. It reeked. It really, really reeked. Seeing the exit, she pushed the other survivor hard out into the open air, then turned to face the beast.

" _FLARE ARROW!"_

Several arrows of flame magic sprang into life and after shooting the first in her hand the others were quick to follow. The Wendigo screamed in absolute pain, but she wasn't finished.

" _FIREBALL!"_

When in doubt, go overkill. This thing wasn't worthy of a Dragon Slave or a Ragna Blade, but damn if it didn't feel good to cut loose with a fireball!

That thing burned up really well, and since she didn't hear any others nearby, she helped the poor idiot who was gaping behind her right to where Sam and Dean were. Though she was nearly run over by Sam.

"Lina! Are you alright?"

It felt good having traveling companions who actually gave a damn and could help in an actual fight again.

"I'm fine. That Wendigo thing isn't though. Went up like that," said Lina, snapping her fingers. Dean went to check on the thing, only to find cinders still burning.

"How do we know that's the only one?"

"Because I'm pretty sure the other one would have come out by now," said Lina sensibly.

"...Point. But if the killings start up again..." started Dean.

Lina sighed. Well there was _one_ way she could insure that they didn't start up again and that there weren't any others, but she really didn't want to deal with the cops.

"Okay Dean, which do you want? Assurances that there aren't any others, or getting these people out of here? Because if you want to make sure there isn't a second one I can go completely overkill on the damn thing."

"And by overkill you mean...?"

"I'll level the mine and quite possibly baffle the hell out of any Feds trying to figure out how much explosives were used or how they missed a gas explosion this far out," said Lina honestly.

The Dragon Slave could level entire towns. Using it on an abandoned mine was absolute overkill, but hey, what did she know?

"How?"

"I brought explosives with me. You'd be surprised the sort of things you can learn from the internet," said Lina.

Dean was quick to back up.

"No, no. If another one shows up we can deal with it then. No reason to do something that would get the Feds and other government types on our ass," said Dean. No way in hell was he being called a terrorist because Sam's girlfriend went completely overboard on a hunt.

Though Bobby would probably have a new reason to love Sam's choice in women.

* * *

Lina mostly went with them for a while because she was tired of sifting through dusty old books and she wanted some action dammit.

She mostly walked around (refilling her stash of liquor) until she saw someone being dragged into the water by _something_. Memories of a near drowning thanks to that damn Noonsa sprang to mind. Lina put her bags down, then dove into the lake after the victim. A quick spell insured she could breath while she dove deep into the lake. The second she saw the guy, she could tell he barely had _seconds._

After Noonsa she practiced silent casting. Even if it meant breaking the bubble, she could live with it.

One astral spell (it wasn't Ra Tilt, but it would do in a pinch) and another bubble spell, and she was able to drag in the unconscious man. Since she went down so deep she slowly went up until the bubble popped. She was having a bit of trouble swimming with only one arm available.

Thankfully Sam had spotted her thanks to the fact she preferred bright clothing. He grabbed a boat and drove the thing towards her. With a little help, they were able to get the man into the boat and she was able to climb in.

Apparently the astral spell she threw at the thing hurt it more than she thought. To be honest the only reason she used it was because none of her usual spells would have functioned nearly as well underwater, but astral spells attacked from the astral plain, meaning it wouldn't be overly effected by the water. However the poor sap that had been dragged into the water had broken the bubble, to her annoyance.

She got a head cold, but that spell definitely did a number on the ghost because it didn't show up again. Either she killed the thing by accident or it was licking it's wounds until she left.

She had Xellos check and it turned out that she had hurt it so badly that it had simply moved on rather than try it's luck with her again.

With no more attacks they left the area, though not without Dean clearly debating on whether or not ogling his brother's girlfriend was worth the chance of her erupting like she had with the Wendigo.

In the end he put her firmly in the 'no touching, ogling or flirting' category. If only because he was pretty sure Lina wouldn't go for it. She was fiercely loyal to his brother.

* * *

"What do you mean you want me to take your place on a plane?" said Lina incredulous.

Dean squirmed under her disbelieving gaze. He mumbled something under his breath, and she tapped her foot impatiently.

"Well?"

"I hate flying alright? There's a reason I drive everywhere and it's because I can't stand to fly. It scares the hell out of me!" said Dean red face and embarrassed.

Lina looked at him, but thankfully without pity or anything that said he had just lowered her opinion of him.

She thought he was an ass, but at least she remotely respected him. Remotely.

Lina looked him in the eye, before she sighed.

"If I do this, you owe me big. And I mean first born big."

"Why, do you hate flying too?"

"No, but it means I'd have to wear one hell of a disguise and go through a lot of hassle just to get _on_ the damn plane considering I'm on the No-Fly list," said Lina.

Dean wasn't the only one staring. Sam was as well having come up with some drinks.

"How did you end up on the No-Fly list?"

"Long story short the Feds kinda want to have a chat with me last I heard, and I definitely don't want to explain why I robbed those places."

"Explain," said Sam. This was something he hadn't heard.

Lina winced.

"Okay, you know how I feel about bandits, right?"

"You consider them less than human, and therefor don't feel any sympathy towards them ending up in shallow graves," said Sam. While it was weird he generally agreed with her...though the only bandits he knew of were in impoverish countries and he just assumed she had run afoul of a few before and thus developed a knee-jerk reaction to killing them on sight.

"Well shortly after I came to America I had a run-in with some local mafia-type gangs. You know, the kind where they have an entire organization dedicated to causing problems and running things like drugs, guns and people?"

Sam had a bad feeling where this was going.

"Well a couple morons from a gang tried to kidnap and sell me, so I figured they were America's equivalent of bandit gangs. Naturally realizing how they made their money pissed me off, so I went after them and reign hell on their 'family'. I did leave their records and things behind, but I robbed their entire organization blind because they deserved it. The thing was that I apparently interrupted several FBI investigations, so they're pretty damn upset about me cleaning out a large number of scumbags."

Sam pinched the bridge of his nose.

"So you pissed off the FBI by killing several gangster families and robbing them?"

"Hey, I don't see what they're complaining about. I left them the records they needed to arrest the survivors!"

"I think he has a problem with you killing people without losing sleep over it," said Dean.

"Like I said, I consider anyone who profits from the sale of children and weapons as bandits, and thus fair game."

"What."

"Some of the people they sold were children under ten," said Lina. She had seen the records and it had only made her choice to burn the bastards easier.

Sam debated this in his head. On one hand, Lina had killed people before. On the other hand, she only did it to people who honestly deserved worse. The most she had done to people stupid enough to grab her ass while she was a waitress was scare the living shit out of them.

"Did you kill everyone?"

"I left the children and those not involved alone. I only target those that hurt others, but you know I hate seeing kids hurt."

Sam breathed through his nose.

"I can deal with this, but no more targeting gangs. The last thing I need is for any survivors to come after us because they recognized you."

"...Considering _how_ I leveled their bases I sincerely doubt they'd be stupid enough to try," said Lina.

That was actually how she found out her black magic was now way overpowered beyond what she was used to. It was just a good thing the smoke obscured her face and the ashes turned her hair a different color.

Thank you levitation and the fact the feds never thought to look up while they were sifting through the remains of the houses she destroyed.

Still, just to be safe she was wearing a better disguise than the cheap one she generally put on when entering a buffet more than once.

Though the second she realized there was a demon on the plane, she got pissed in a hurry. At least Sam had an exorcism ready, because she didn't want to test her spells in keeping the plane from crashing long enough to make an emergency landing...or have to explain to Sam what she did.

He was already having trouble with the fact she felt absolutely no remorse killing gangsters and bandits before robbing them blind. Back home no one would have batted an eye on such behavior, because bandits were the lowest of the low in the eyes of the law, and pirates were almost as bad.

Here they had annoying laws that actually protected such dirt bags and the worst punishment wasn't often used except in extreme cases. And they wondered why they had an overpopulation problem in their prisons where the inmates grew so jaded about going to one that they didn't even give a damn if they got caught outside of annoyance. Honestly, her world was smarter in that regard.

You tried to rob, murder or otherwise do harm to innocent travelers, then you played a gamble with your life. You knew what you were getting into with being a bandit, though she had pretty much wiped out the bandit gangs in her world because they generally were a source of quick loot.

It was a good thing Sam had yet to find out about her magic, or the fact she could literally level towns with a single spell if she wanted.


	4. Chapter 4

Lina was pissed. This shifter had taken Dean's form and had captured her and there was no way she could get the boys here before the cops busted them.

She was never as happy to see Xellos in her life. Shifty bastard. He killed the thing, then disposed of the body before the cops showed up.

When they questioned Lina she gave them a description alright.

She gave them a description of Gaav's human form, which didn't exist here as far as she knew. She would have done Rezo, but as much as he pissed her off after all the times he tried to kill her, she didn't hate him _that_ much because he was much easier to kill.

Either way she needed a break from this crap for a while.

* * *

Lina twitched. So this was what a real psychic was like. And why did she keep sensing someone nearby?

She hid from view of the house while Sam and Dean investigated their old home...and that's when she saw him. He fit the description of John Winchester.

She waited until she saw the boys again before she broke the news.

"Dad's here?" said Dean.

"I thought I heard something at that psychic's house while we were there and I used the restroom. So I hid out of view and I saw someone in the upstairs that fit the description of your dad that you gave me months ago."

Dean pulled out one of the few pictures he had of John.

"That's him. He's a little older and more rugged looking but that's definitely him."

Dean looked ready to go and demand answers from his dad. Instead Sam had a better idea.

He still planned on proposing to his girlfriend, preferably soon, so what better way to drag John Winchester out of whatever hole he was hiding in later than to invite him to the wedding?

* * *

Lina didn't know why Sam had brought her to the river, but he better not be trying something hinky or she was going to kick his ass.

Sam had heard stories about how John had proposed in this same spot to his mother, so he thought it was fitting...sort of. Dean was recording the entire thing for Bobby, who wanted to see when Sam got off his ass and finally brought out the ring he had gotten his girlfriend _months_ ago.

He just hoped this didn't end as badly as his dad's marriage to his mother.

Lina definitely had a suspicious look on her face, and Sam knew if he was relatively safe (as one could be around an admitted pyromaniac like Lina) as long as he didn't do something Dean-level stupid.

Unknown to Sam, Dean wasn't the only one watching what was going on. After hearing Sam's message to Missouri about him having a girlfriend who he wanted to propose to, he decided to take a walk down memory lane, only to find Sam and his girlfriend there.

Firecracker was the only way to describe her, and they hadn't even been introduced yet. She just had this aura about her that said she was a fighter and one who had a fiery temper to boot. Never a good combination. And yet she had to be a good hunter if they brought her along instead of trying to hide it.

The weird thing was that when he tried to remember the night when he proposed to Mary he came up blank. He remembered proposing alright, but then for some reason he blacked out for twenty solid minutes according to his watch with a strange stain on his shirt and Mary looking like she had been crying. Not to mention the way _both_ of her parents died on the same night from a murder-suicide, according to the cops.

Watching Sam get down on one knee in front of his girl, he began to frown.

Proposing to Mary should have been one of the key memories of his life. And yet he couldn't account for twenty minutes or the stain. And considering what happened a decade after, it really made him suspicious. What if the demon got in because Mary was forced to make a deal? One to save his life?

He needed sleep, then he could call Bobby to see if they couldn't figure this out.

He did know one thing though. This girl, Lina, was definitely not someone a demon could take out as easily as yellow-eyes had killed Mary.

Still, he was happy for Sam. He found a girl who was able to hunt and genuinely loved him. Now if only Dean would quit picking up random floozies in bars and find a nice girl like that.

If John had any idea who his new soon-to-be daughter-in-law was and what she could do, not even a sucker would have bet on the heart attack it would give him. Though Lina was absolutely not going to tell Sam about magic until after the wedding, because she wasn't an idiot.

* * *

Lina was put in charge of organizing the wedding, because let's face it, Sam had his hands full keeping his college education on track and still having time to make it _back_ to Stanford in time for finals since he couldn't take those online. Well that and it generally accepted that hunters had enough on their plates without adding to it.

Besides, the only time she had been in a wedding was to help out some poor idiot who had to marry one of the Sorceress Calypso's daughters and that had ended in absolute disaster all around.

At least here she had some real variety in what she could do, though she planned to keep it simple.

Bobby suggested a well known Hunter-run bar called the Roadhouse for the reception, partly because it would give the boys a chance to socialize with other hunters, but mostly because it would mean there would be armed back-up in case of uninvited guests like demons. Pastor Jim was willing to give Lina a discount since he knew the boys and he thought this would be good for them.

Having Lina around definitely curbed some of Dean's bad habits, except for the sleeping around part, but that was only because they generally ordered separate rooms.

It said volumes that he was less of an ass to be around because he was terrified of his future in-law. The only real downside was that Lina said her family couldn't make it, but she knew they would approve of Sam anyway. Though to be honest she was glad Luna wasn't coming because if Dean thought Lina was bad when she was in a bad mood, Luna was infinitely worse. Just thinking about her sister showing up scared the shit out of her.

So Bobby offered to sit in on Lina's side as a surrogate uncle, with Xellos also coming mostly out of boredom.

Well that and he had been ordered by the Lady herself. He had pouted for _hours_ about that.

It took her weeks to get things set up, though the caterer was a bit baffled when she ordered five times as much food as the number of people. She might have fudged the number a bit, but she knew her appetite well enough to guesstimate how much they would need, even if there would be leftovers.

Still. Her wedding. A thing she never thought she would ever get to experience with the fact people had an issue even considering the flat chested 'Bandit Killer' and 'Dragon Spooker' (Dear Lady how she _LOATHED_ that damn nickname...if she ever found who started that one she would kill him very slowly!) as a viable girlfriend material.

There was always Gourry, but dear Lady he was so dense he couldn't have seen the writing on the wall that she cared for him. Hell, the idiot never even realized that ditzy priestess Ceilphiel had been in love with him since they were children, and she was more stacked than Lina was. He was so dense that if they had kids she would be amazed if the moron even remembered their damn names.

So realizing Sam Winchester not only accepted her, good and bad, enough to actually want to marry her even if she hadn't been entirely honest about not being from this world or the real nature of Xellos, had come as a pleasant shock.

He was cute, her type, and nowhere near as idiotic as Gourry had been even if the blond had been a good stalwart friend since the beginning. She would trust him to have her back, but her heart was another matter.

Though she still wondered if the Lady had been serious when she said Gourry had literally jumped into the Sea of Chaos to try and bring her back.

She would be shocked...and happy...if he had.

"How goes the planning?" asked Bobby, who generally didn't care if Lina or the boys crashed in his home for long periods provided they didn't get on his nerves. He was the closest thing to a real father figure they had, in Lina's mind. Besides once you got past the gruff exterior it was rather hard _not_ to like him.

He definitely liked Lina as a surrogate daughter though. Apparently he liked the fact she was able to read most of his more...rare...books and could ask intelligent questions.

Though she really needed to come clean about the whole magic and being from another world thing soon. Just not until she could work up the courage and explain it to them without fear of being hated or worse, hunted.

Considering her opinion on witches and demons, it was unlikely they'd equate her to one of them. Still, it kept her up at night.

"It's going, but honestly I didn't think this whole thing was more work and headaches than being a waitress or wasting some monster," said Lina, grimacing.

The sheer amount of legal crap she had wade through like marriage licenses, fake ID's, permits for some fireworks...it was exhausting and made her miss home that much more.

Back home the only thing you would need is a priest, a place to marry and hold the after-party, and preferably nothing causing trouble during either.

This world was needlessly complicated and the amount of paperwork she had to go through and the number of people she had to deal with was a nightmare.

No wonder people preferred to elope. Honestly the only reason she didn't drag Sam to Las Vegas to get it done was because Bobby told them to have the reception at the Roadhouse.

"It can't be that bad," said Bobby, having gone through the same song and dance years ago with his own wife.

Lina handed him a few of the papers, and he winced.

"I'd cancel half of these stupid things if I could. Whatever happened to a _simple_ wedding?"

"What's simple by your definition?" asked Bobby. Perhaps he could help with that at least.

"Grab a priest, a good number of people who don't want you dead, and then have the ceremony and the after party. None of this legalese nonsense or calling fifteen different people for the same freaking thing! Really the only _necessary_ thing I actually need is the idiotic license, and what idiot came up with that sort of idea that you'd need a license to get married?!"

Oh yes, Lina was in need of a good, well thought out rant. Fortunately Bobby was willing to listen until she lost steam before he could slap her on the head with some common sense.

Because honestly, weddings these days were a bit overly complicated. It was little wonder the brides were nervous wrecks and their checking accounts generally ended tapped out.

"Why don't you just get the license, then we put everyone into a shotgun wedding?"

Lina blinked, before her head thunked on the table. It kept thunking for the next ten minutes.

"Only issue with that is that Sam and I have never gotten that far," said Lina.

"Does it matter? No one said you had to go big."

"Why did I overthink this. I must be lacking sleep..." muttered Lina.

She could clear up this mess later once she'd had a long nap.

* * *

"So you're having a shot gun wedding? Did you knock her up...?" asked Dean.

Sam couldn't look Dean in the eye.

"Sam?"

"We've never actually _gone_ that far, okay?"

"Wait, you mean to tell me you've been dating that fiery red head, hell, even proposed to her, but you've never actually..."

"It's never come up! Usually we're too tired to do anything and I'm not stupid enough to make a move before she's ready!"

Okay, Dean would concede that point. Lina was damn scary when she was pissed. Quite frankly he thought his baby brother was braver than he was, putting up with her and even asking her to marry him despite the fact she could geld him if he ever pissed her off to much.

He liked them feisty, but no where near _that_ feisty!

"Well I bet you'll at least have some fun on your wedding night, right?" said Dean with a wink.

Sam blushed. On the plus side, he did know he would be Lina's first, if only because she had once told him she had never had a boyfriend before in her life... well, there was one, but he had been too dense to realize she liked him and was more of a really close friend she trusted with her life.

And no one had ever been brave enough to actually become that close to her.


	5. Chapter 5

**_To those looking forward to the wedding...the only thing I can say is that Lina's honeymoon is ANYTHING but normal. Here's the only hint you get: she kills a giant ass shark with a stick and her bubble charm...and it nearly gives Sam an coronary when he recognizes it._**

* * *

Lina was taking a break from wedding planning to go on a hunt with Sam and Dean. She had the distinct urge to kill something with the headaches she had gotten over the past week.

Even with a simple wedding with very few of the bells and whistles, it was still a massive migraine.

However things didn't exactly go according to plan. Dean had a cattle prod in hand and he was in a small pool of water. So he electrocuted himself to kill the monster.

He survived, barely.

But the doctors had a grim prognosis.

Well screw that. She had been meaning to tell them the full truth about where she came from anyway.

Lina had her best glare on as she told Dean to sit down. Confused (and properly paranoid about pissing her off) he sat on the bed.

"Now before I do anything I want to make it very clear that if you dare compare me to a magical girl or one of those hack job witches, I will kick your ass nine ways to Wednesday."

"O...kay..." said Dean slowly.

So imagine their surprise when Lina started chanting very clearly in English. Dean didn't know what the hell she was doing, but he certainly knew when it took effect. Any pain he was feeling from the general pain from being a hunter to the new pain of his chest was going away. Thirty minutes later Lina looked exhausted, but Dean felt better than he had in years.

"What the hell was that?!"

"White magic dumbass. Be glad the Lady boosted my spells when I got here otherwise it wouldn't have gone nearly as quickly. And since white magic runs mostly on faith and positive emotions, that means it's boosted even further," said Lina.

"What do you mean, _magic_?" said Dean.

"Again, if you compare me to a magical girl or one of those hack witches you hunt, I _will_ kick your ass," said Lina.

"So...if you're not a witch or a...magical girl...what are you?"

"The proper term is Sorceress. It's also why I can demolish an entire buffet's worth of food."

"So...it uses internal energies that convert calories into power and not on some deal with a demon?" said Sam slowly.

"Again, I hate those hack witches who can't even tap into a _fraction_ of what I can do. They can barely curse _one_ person at a time using ingredients I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole. I can do a hell of a lot more than that with a lot more efficiency...it's why the gangsters would be suicidal to piss me off twice."

"How effective."

"Consider this. I just healed your heart condition in less than an hour along with a bunch of other things you probably learned to ignore. And that was with a relatively _minor_ spell anyone can learn. Or would you rather have a...practical...demonstration?"

Sam blinked.

"The mines. You said you had explosives, but I never saw any when we went back to the car and you didn't have any in the bag."

Lina grinned.

"If Dean was that paranoid about a second one I would have leveled the place in a single spell and no one would be able to prove _how_ I did it since I'm apparently the only sorceress in this world."

" _This_ world?" said Dean incredulous.

"Miss Lina is not from this world originally. A rather powerful spell went wrong and the Lady sent her here to recover and possibly one up a bunch of self-righteous ascendants," said Xellos behind him.

Dean jumped up and held his chest. He damn near had a second heart attack from that!

"Really, Xellos?"

"You're not a human, are you?"

"No."

"But he _is_ the only non-human with the common sense to at least warn me when he's about to show up first."

"So where exactly does Lina come from?" asked Sam.

To be honest, this explained a lot. Her casual disregard towards killing bandits, the fact she was so good with blades, her distaste for guns and technology. Her world was a very different contrast to his. Though that didn't explain how she could read and speak their language.

"About three worlds and two alternate dimensions away from this place. Mostly I've been waiting for the timelines to sync up before I tried to see if the path was still open since right now her past self is still trying to kill old Rezo," said Xellos.

"Which one? The one with Ruby Eyes or the one with...?"

"Ruby Eyes."

Lina winced. No wonder Xellos didn't want to talk about how the others were doing.

"From what I've seen, time seems to move slower back home," said Xellos.

"How slow?"

"It should be safe enough to try and make an attempt to go back in a few years," said Xellos. Lina winced. On the plus side, she could finally introduce Sam to her family...if he was still willing to have her after this.

"Okay, so just so we're clear here, you two are from another world/dimension...and you can use magic?" said Dean.

"Look at it this way, you won't have to spend days healing from a hunt any more, and once I really get serious demons aren't going to know what hit them. Though I still need some books on astral spells Xellos," said Lina.

"That minor spell you used on the ghost is more than enough to do damage, and the Ragna blade should take care of anything else. Besides...I'm somewhat stuck myself because even I can't be in two places at once," said Xellos.

"What minor spell?" said Dean.

Lina sighed.

"Remember back at the lake when I caught that head cold dragging that poor bastard out of the water? I shot a relatively easy astral spell at the ghost itself and caused it to back off. Apparently it decided to move on rather than piss me off twice," said Lina.

"I've been meaning to ask...how exactly _did_ you dive that deep and still have a chance to swim up?"

"Air bubble spell. I've nearly drowned once because of an overly amorous fish man and I made very sure not to be caught like that twice."

Sam and Dean stared at her.

"Overly amorous..." said Dean incredulous.

"Fish man?" finished Sam in disbelief.

Lina grimaced.

"Fish people are fairly common back home, and no they don't look like mermaids. Think a fish with legs and hands that can walk on land without any trouble and can talk."

"That does it, I've never looking at sushi the same way again," joked Dean.

"Oh trust me, if you knew half the things I've had to deal with back home, you'd never eat certain foods again."

"Like pie?" said Sam grinning.

"Pie is safe."

Dean looked relieved.

"So are you alright with knowing I'm not exactly from here and that I can use magic?"

"On one condition," said Sam. Lina tensed. "We find out if I can use your brand of magic later."

"Deal. Just to warn you, you'll probably be joining me in decimating all-you-can-eat lines...and the occasional eating contest."

Dean snickered. He had seen Lina beat grown men who had made their living at those and the looks on their faces. Seeing their expressions usually made Dean's day because they were so funny.

Besides, it usually went hand in hand with free food for Bobby's house.

"So...do we tell Bobby or...?" started Dean.

"Bobby I trust. From what I've heard about your dad...hell no."

"Fair enough. He's likely to try and shoot you if he found out you could use magic. Bobby actually _likes_ you," said Sam.

* * *

Bobby was incredulous about her being a sorceress (not a witch) right up until she cast the same healing spell on him that she had on Dean. Imagine Bobby's shock realizing that his arthritis was no longer acting up, or that his bones didn't creak nearly as bad as they did earlier.

Still, he did a battery of tests and after confirming that Lina absolutely wasn't any witch he had ever heard of (she still bristled at the title and corrected rather firmly that she was a sorceress dammit!) and the fact she didn't even know how to make even a basic hex bag, Bobby then did the same thing Sam did.

Grill her about her world and the varying differences. The fact she could act as a healer that was more effective than any medicine for the cost of a large meal was something they were going to get good use out of.

Sam was still going to marry her though.

"On an unrelated note, where exactly are you two going to have your honeymoon?"

"I was thinking Hawaii. It was a lot of fun last time I went there and the spearfishing was an absolute blast!"

"Wait...you spear fish?"

"It's not exactly that hard, though I might have to get a new swimsuit...and replace yours..." said Lina.

"What's wrong with my swim suit?" asked Sam.

"I was talking about his. I did the laundry remember? I went through the summer things since I knew it wouldn't be long before we went swimming so I washed them early. Your swimsuit is not only way too small, it had holes and the elastic was almost shredded on it," she said flatly looking at Dean.

"...Why were you washing my stuff too?"

"It was a slow day and Bobby was hogging the library. I couldn't get a book out of there without him snapping at me, so I did the laundry and the dishes," admitted Lina.

Dean snickered. He remembered how Bobby got when he was in full research mode. The only way into the room was with coffee or food!

* * *

The wedding, while simple, did a great deal to lift the spirits of those who attended it. Leaving an open invitation to hunters at the Roadhouse along with the promise of free food and discounted alcohol (Lina was supplying it, since she was acutely aware Bobby's taste ran rather cheap) meant they almost had a packed house.

Another plus was that Sam and Dean were acquainted with more than just their father's hunting buddies. And Lina? Well she got to enjoy a day of being a _normal_ girl instead of her usual cranky self.

In the words of Dean, Lina needed to get laid more than his brother did.

The after party was equally as lively. Lina could proudly say she drank most of the men there under the table, to the amusement of Ellen's daughter Jo.

She still did the most damage to the food table, though after she got Sam started on learning magic he wasn't too far behind.

Dean could have done his own damage, but he was still somewhat reluctant to learn magic.

Sam, like Lina, specialized mainly in black magic. Though he did have more of an aptitude towards astral magic like the Elmekia Lance and the Ra Tilt, with a minor affinity towards the most basic of healing spells.

Whereas Dean, surprisingly enough, had a high aptitude towards astral-spells and defensive ones. He was still in shock he _could_ use magic, as she had mostly included him by accident when she tested Sam.

"So how exactly are we going to get to Hawaii? All the ships were booked and you know how I feel about flying," said Dean.

Because Lina was including him on this (with separate bungalows) he had left his precious Impala behind and drove one of Bobby's scrap heaps that he didn't mind if it got impounded. It was mostly junk anyway.

"Just out of curiosity is it the plane you're afraid of or flying at that height in general?" asked Lina.

"Planes, and the sheer amount of carnage they do when they crash. Not to mention the fact that I get air sick that high."

"So if you were able to fly, but stay relatively below the cloud cover without using a plane you might consider it?" she asked.

"Maybe. Never flown except for on a plane before and I hated it ever since."

"In that case, I do believe it's time to teach you two how to fly."

"What."

Lina grinned, as she collected her wind magic and said _"Levitation!"_

The two men stared with open mouths in disbelief at the fact she was _hovering_.

Sam was the first to recover.

"How high can you go, and how long does this last?"

"I've been above the clouds a few times, but it gets really wonky that high up because of the air density. And we could reasonably make it to Hawaii without having to charter a boat or plane from here. I've done it before, twice."

"No way. Not a chance in hell!" said Dean, already realizing where she was going with this.

"Look at it this way Dean...if we go by night then we can take the lower height so the worst you'd have to deal with is a bruise or two and you could swim until you felt ready to try again, or we could tow you behind us, but it won't go as fast. I've done that before too and the most I've had to deal with was the wind drag," said Lina. She'd had to tow Gourry behind her before, and that hadn't really done much aside from slow her relative speed a bit.

"I'd rather be towed," said Dean flatly. No way in hell was he going to try some spell to fly. Not with how little practice he had with magic in general.

Lina shrugged.

"Fair enough. Got your bag Sam?"

Sam held up a trio of backpacks, since Lina had said it was easier to pack light for some reason. Now he knew why.

She walked her new husband through the basics of flight. Since he was still learning magic, she would take lead while they towed Dean behind them.

Though both of the newlyweds fully planned to dump him into the ocean before they hit land as a prank because of all the times he had given them grief.

It took a few tries before Sam had the hang of it, though he would still need to rely on Lina to guide them since he couldn't really do more than float. They had plenty of time for him to learn how to direct where he was flying while they made their way to Hawaii.


	6. Chapter 6

Lina was snickering at the fact Dean was drenched. Sam looked amused as well, while Dean glared at them both.

"You suck," said Dean.

"I'm sure that's what your boyfriend would love you to do," she smirked.

A half-mile away from the nearest island Lina and Sam had let go of Dean without any warning whatsoever. The yelp he had let out when they did was hilarious, as did the number of swears he let off when he realized they had done that deliberately. He was just lucky there weren't any sharks about when Lina fished him out of the water, still sopping wet. There was a reason Sam had offered to take Dean's bag for him. They could take a boat to the one where Lina booked their rooms.

Dean would have sneezed, except the air was rather warm, if a bit humid.

"Look at the bright side Dean...you get to hit on some island girls while Sam and I have fun...and since it's separate rooms you won't have to worry about me pranking you for keeping us up!"

Oh yes, Dean remembered the bullion cube prank. He had to spend four long hours of smelling like chicken soup because Lina had somehow put chicken bullion cubes in the shower head after Sam had used it and before Dean woke up how she pulled it off in five minutes without him seeing her he had no idea.

Sam had laughed long and hard when he realized where the smell was coming from...even if Dean's skin looked a little more... yellow... than usual.

Bobby had laughed even harder.

That didn't mean Lina wasn't going to repeat the prank here. This time she was using beef instead of chicken. And if Dean annoyed her she would use the packet of shrimp-flavoring from the instant ramen packs.

"I just want to take a shower, get some sleep and then go get drunk. You two have fun exploring the bedroom for the first few days," smirked Dean.

Considering his brother was pretty hard up since he started dating Lina (no sane man would cheat on her no matter how much he needed some release) he was fairly sure they wouldn't be leaving their room for at least a few days. Which meant more free time for him. At least Lina was kind enough to give him some cash to have a bit of fun just in case the credit-cards were declined.

* * *

Dean grinned at his brother three days later, after he _finally_ left their room for the first time.

"Well? How wild in bed was she?"

"I am not discussing my sex life with you Dean. Unless you want to start discussing all those one-night stands you've had over the years...?"

"Come on Sammy! You know what they say about red heads don't you?"

Sam huffed. His brother would never leave him alone unless he said _something_ , but thank the Lady Lina was still asleep.

And yes, Lina had converted him to her 'Lady' when he realized that unlike God she actually answered in a timely manner, and you could actually feel her power directly when you used certain spells.

According to Lina (who heard this from Xellos) the one called 'God' in this world was currently on vacation and didn't want to be found...but he was apparently annoyed with his children so he bet the Lady that she couldn't effect something that was coming without being called on it.

Hence why she snagged Lina Inverse (now Winchester) and brought her to this world. Oh, and Xellos just so Lina had a friendly face she reasonably trusted in case she needed a little extra help. Lina would eventually be able to go home, and when she did she would bring Sam and Dean with her, if only so Sam could meet her parents and possibly her older sister.

"Considering it was her first time, we went a little slow. However I do know she had an extensive collection of DVDs she might let you borrow."

What Dean didn't know was that Lina happened to like yaoi. It would be pretty funny if Dean borrowed one of her collection and was forced to watch the entire thing as a prank. That didn't mean she had none of the girl/boy pairings, but it meant Sam could switch the cases around so Dean could pick them out in the dark and not realize what he was watching until it was too late.

When Lina did come out of their room, reasonably dressed for swimming wearing only a light shirt and a sarong to cover up her swimsuit, she was rather mellow.

Dean had always suspected half the reason she was so controlling was because she needed to get laid. He was glad to find his theory had been right.

She was still pretty damn scary when she was annoyed though, as the glare she gave him for snickering spoke volumes of what she would do to him if he dared to comment.

Dean still couldn't believe Lina could spear-fish with only a sharp stick and a minor air bubble spell around her head. It was a lesser variant of the one she used when she wanted to dive deeper, since it allowed her to use weapons without popping.

She still had to renew it periodically though, because it had a tendency to pop when the oxygen got too low or if she had to cast spells in a hurry.

It had enough power to last for two spells. One to renew the bubble and for any attack spells she used.

It was something she created out of boredom the last time she was in Hawaii.

So whenever Lina came up she usually had at least three to four _massive_ fish speared through the middle of her stick, Dean had to stare for a second because she didn't seem like the type of girl who knew how to hunt.

Then again, she was more of an Amazon than any girl he had ever meet in his life.

There was one small hitch about her spear hunting for fish they could cook over a campfire (she knew more about when they were done than either of the boys were) happened about a week in.

Though to be honest Sam wondered why he was surprised at all with what Lina dragged out of the depths.

It happened like this...

* * *

 _In the depths of the ocean, roughly half a mile from Oahu..._

Lina was deep in the ocean. So deep that if she came up too fast she would have to be in a decompression chamber for two days. It had happened once, and she was lucky that they at least left some decent books in there to read, even if she did have to try and find the rest of the _Lord of the Rings_ after.

Anyway she was pretty deep after following one of the fish into this area and she wasn't about to give up without something to show for it.

So imagine her surprise when the damn thing vanished faster than she could stalk it.

There had to be a predator nearby. She looked around, glad that her modified spell allowed her almost as good a vision range as that of a shark without any need for light.

Seeing an outcropping of rock, she went to a minor cave that had an opening above in the event she needed to escape.

What she saw could only be described as a monster.

It was bigger than any fish she had ever seen (since she was told quite firmly whales were _not_ fish, but a type of underwater mammal) and it had rows of sharp teeth. The only thing she could compare it to was a great white, and this thing looked like a shark on steroids. It looked like it could eat a whale for lunch.

Hell, it could eat her in one bite and not have to chew. It was that big.

Still, Lina had faced down scarier things than some overgrown fish. And with a quick recharge of the bubble spell, done more by lip synching her mouth than actually saying anything, she prepared for a fight.

If this thing noticed her, or tried to come at her, she was going to kill it. The bragging rights alone would be worth dragging it up slowly to the surface, even if the size was going to be an issue.

Fortunately she was well aware of one fact. Ice floats, if you had enough of it. She just had to get the ratio right so she could drag it up without getting decompression sickness in the process.

The giant beast swam past, obviously looking for a meal. Anything with sense had left the area already if they had sensed it.

Lina knew a lot about sharks. They could smell even the faintest hint of blood in the water, they were very fast, and under normal circumstances they would never attack humans. The only exceptions were when they were either sick or they mistook a surfer for food.

Lina loved watching Shark Week, and thought the _Jaws_ series more of a comedy than anything.

This wasn't about a Lina and a shark. This was about a human and one of nature's most deadly aquatic predators in a game of cat and mouse.

Whether she succeeded and brought it to shore was all up to her, even if she was only armed with a knife and a sharpened stick.

Watching it swim past her hiding spot, she waited for the perfect moment to strike. She couldn't throw her spear at the thing...it would see it coming and she would be exposed. She didn't fancy having to swim away from this monster and she had the feeling her sanctuary wouldn't last long against something this big when it was hungry and determined.

Which meant she would have to get right on top of the damn thing without being detected.

She was patient, reapplying her spell every time it even began to weaken on her.

Finally she took her shot and moved. She attached herself to the top fin and waited for the shark to swim a little more, before slowly moving towards the eyes.

When in doubt, go for the eye.

She jabbed her rugged spear deep into the eye, aiming for as far as she could get it, before she sealed off the wound with ice. She didn't need to attract any more sharks with the blood.

The thing didn't stand a chance. One of humanity's most basic weapons, a sharpened stick made for hunting fish, had felled one of the world's greatest aquatic predators.

Lina made sure to ice up most of the top and some of the sides. Then she slowly drifted upward on top of the now-dead shark, renewing her bubble spell and the ice until she eventually broke surface.

* * *

Sam had been waiting up top for hours on the fishing boat they had rented that looked a little too much like the infamous _Orca_ to be a coincidence. Considering what she had just floated up from the top, she was loving the irony of it.

Her husband blinked repeatedly, then looked at his drink before going to get Dean.

"Dean, did you spike my soda while I wasn't looking?"

"Not this time, why?"

"Because I would swear on mom's grave that Lina just came up with a partially frozen Megalodon with a spear in it's left eye."

"A _what_?"

"Prehistoric version of the great white that was big enough to make snacks out of whales and could eat a man whole."

Dean stared at his brother. Then he walked past him to see whatever it was that was giving his brother a headache now.

 _"WHAT THE HELL?!"_

The shark Lina brought up was bigger than the damn boat they were on.

"I can't believe I'm actually saying this on something that looks straight out of the original _Jaws_ movie... We're gonna need a bigger boat," said Dean, staring. That thing was massive.

"Trust me, hauling that thing in won't be our biggest problem. How the hell are we going to keep a low profile on cases when someone finally realizes what that thing is?!"

"It's a big shark!"

"Dean, you don't understand. They have a word for things like this shark. Lazarus Taxon. Megalodon went extinct over a million years ago and people have been debating on whether or not it was still around for _years_. Most people think the idea Megalodon is still alive is ridiculous, since no skeleton has ever been recovered. The most anyone's ever found of them are their teeth."

"Okay college boy, why haven't they ever found proof?"

"Sharks sink when they die. Their bones go straight to the ocean floor and only teeth survive," said Lina. Seeing his expression she shrugged from on top of her perch on the corpse. "Shark Week."

"Ah."

"So what do we do?"

"Well I'm planning to tow this sucker in for bragging rights on biggest shark killed on the island. Then I'm thinking shark fin soup for everyone," deadpanned Lina.

Sam looked like he would _love_ to introduce his head to something blunt, preferably a wall. Of course Lina was only thinking of bragging rights and food.

They marked the location where she found the damn thing, then slowly began towing the corpse on a bizarre ice patch she made with magic. It would melt by the time they got anywhere near the island, allowing it to come to ocean temperature. Sure the fact she had to freeze it to keep the body from sinking would screw with how long it had been dead, but the fact she had killed it and brought it in was something they _couldn't_ dispute.

Lina could honestly claim to have the most _interesting_ honeymoon photos in existence.

How many could say that they had actual photos of the only Megalodon corpse on land in existence along with the gobsmacked looks of several prominent scientists.

Lina sold the corpse for several million. Though she did keep several of the teeth for souvenirs since it would be an interesting story.

She gave an interview along with the one phone number she didn't use for hunts (the rest were burners) in case people needed to call her.

Imagine the look on Bobby's face when she gave him an honest-to-Lady shark tooth that could fit in his palm and was as sharp as a knife. Lina still giggled at his expression when he saw the pictures.


	7. Chapter 7

Lina was waiting at the cheap hotel they had rented for the boys to return from the vampire nest they were after. All she knew was that John was in the area and that he was after some gun.

They came back a few hours later, tired, but successful.

However, there was something off.

"Who's she?" asked Lina dangerously.

They had a girl tied up behind them with a short bobbed hair cut and worn clothes. She reeked of sulfur to Lina's sensitive nose.

"She calls herself Meg. She's a demon," said Sam tiredly.

Lina's eyes narrowed further.

"Put her in a devil's trap and I'll interrogate her. I have a few questions and I don't plan on dealing with some idiot crossroad demon for answers," said Lina.

"Yes ma'am," said Dean. He was not going to argue with someone who killed a monster shark with only a spear.

John watched Lina get ready to interrogate a demon of all things. She was definitely a firecracker. However it still bothered him that he had twenty minutes missing of the night he proposed to Mary, and the fact her parents died not an hour earlier.

Lina was good at getting information. She wanted to know why demons had come after her specifically when she had never done anything to get their attention.

Meg screamed at the water Lina threw on her. She was very careful not to get the paint wet. For some reason whenever she made holy water it came out super-charged.

It still didn't effect Xellos though.

"Why did that demon target me in Stanford?" said Lina calmly. She used to kill bandits for a living. Torturing something not even human didn't even faze her.

"We were after Sam!"

"What."

"Brady was supposed to kill you and leave your still living body on the ceiling and set the place on fire. It would push Sam Winchester back into being a hunter, since he was becoming a little too settled into normal life! He wasn't supposed to keep any relationships that could keep him stable outside of his brother!"

"Why?"

"You think I'd tell you? Nothing you could do could possibly compare to what would wait for me back in the Pit!"

Lina stared at the demon in the eyes.

"You know what, you're right. While I'm perfectly fine tormenting something like you without losing any sleep over it, I could never do nearly as much damage without accidentally killing the host. Fortunately I have a way to get the information you have without having to do it myself. Sam, hand me my phone."

"Who are you calling?"

"Xellos. Unlike me he has almost nothing in the way of morals and he might have a way to get the information from her without killing the host first."

Actually odds were that he would rip the demon out and torture it. But she might have to remind him to keep the human alive, if they still were.

Lina had a short conversation with Xellos in a language none of them recognized, before closing her phone. It was so old that it literally couldn't be traced by computer, which was the reason why she kept it.

She soaked a long rope in holy water and salt, then made sure Meg was firmly wrapped up before handing her off to Xellos. They later found Meg wandering around demon-free and very happy that she could finally go home.

She was also glad Lina gave her the design she would need to _stay_ demon-free.

* * *

Xellos showed up a few hours later...though he took one look at John and gave Lina a look.

Lina was far too happy to throw some of her holy-charged whiskey on her father-in-law.

John started screaming. Even yellow-eyes couldn't handle being hit with one of Lina's bottles.

"You know I'm honestly curious to see what Amelia or Cielphiel's version of holy water could do to a demon," said Lina.

"Who are..."

"One's a royal justice freak and the other is a ditzy priestess."

"You mean like a royal pain-in-the-ass?"

"No, I mean a literal royal. Her dad's a prince and second-in-line to the throne, and she's his youngest. Unfortunately she's just as air-headed as Prince Phil is when it comes to 'justice' and thinks that elaborate and idiotic speeches are required before you kill something evil," said Lina sweatdropping.

"You're kidding, right?" said Sam.

"I wish I was. Nice girl, but her common sense needs a firm whack to the head."

Just the _thought_ of Amelia's reaction to Lina being a few years older and married gave her headaches.

"I got Dad pinned down," said Dean.

He was pretty quick with a salt line when he had to be, and apparently whatever Lina did to the holy water made it so the bastard couldn't move for a few minutes.

"So which one is this?" asked Lina. Seeing the eyes flash yellow, Lina growled. "You're the son of a bitch who sent that demon into my home aren't you!"

The demon in John smirked.

Lina turned to Sam and Dean.

"I'm almost tempted to do worse than throw holy water on this ass."

"Almost?"

"I'm not about to let a demon find out about that, especially when he's attached to my 'father-in-law', no matter how I feel about him."

As far as she was concerned, Bobby was their real dad. Some of the stories Sam gave her about John didn't exactly give her the warm and fuzzies.

Dean considered that, before he winced.

"Yeah, let's leave that as a last resort. What's our other option?"

"Well I could either call Xellos back, but I think he's still playing with that incompetent demon Meg. Which leaves us this," said Lina holding something very familiar to the boys.

"I didn't think he'd rate high enough to have one of your special pendants."

"He doesn't. This is cheap quartz that'll last an hour or so, less if it's a really high-ranked demon according to my sources. Either way it'll hurt like an absolute bitch until he leaves. And it won't kill your dad."

"Sold."

Lina walked across the salt line and plopped the quartz pendant on John's neck. He started screaming, his eyes yellow like mustard. The quartz around his neck was red hot and would have burned him if Lina hadn't reinforced the metal it was on.

Suddenly smoke began pouring out of John like a sieve. It couldn't escape the ring, but it also couldn't return into John, who was quick to get out of the circle the second he was free.

Holy water wasn't the only thing that got supercharged. Lina had, as a joke, blessed all the salt, weapons, and the car the same way she did her liquor supply. They didn't know _why_ it made anything she blessed into holy items, but they weren't about to complain about it.

Which meant yellow eyes wasn't going anywhere until the salt circle broke.

"What...how?" said John.

"Hell if we know. Lina's blessings have an extra kick to them and she knows how to make protective amulets out of certain stones. And we've never taken them off after we saw how effective they were against more than just demons," said Dean.

Sam lifted his pendant so John could see it. Dean lifted his as well.

"Now, what do we do with _that_?" asked Dean nodding his head to the smoke.

"This," said Lina, as she tossed in a different stone. This was the size of her fist and seemed to absorb the smoke completely.

"What was that, and can you teach me?" asked Sam without hesitation.

"Containment Stone. Xellos showed me how to make them after Brady showed up. Something about demons having no sense of humor," said Lina shrugging. Actually it was more along the lines of they had pissed him off when he finally ran into one while dumping Brady's body, and they thought _he_ was the one to kill Brady. They didn't stand a chance and their attitudes made him want to kill them more than he wanted to kill dragons back home.

"So is it safe?"

"Anything that makes Xellos nervous to be around is safe to use on demons."

Mostly because he was the closest equivalent to one she knew of.

"What do you mean safe for demons?" said John angrily.

Lina rolled her eyes. There was a reason she preferred Bobby to the oldest Winchester.

"Think about it this way. How would _you_ react to suddenly being shoved into a rock that was barely the size of an adult fist? It has to be pretty damn cramped in there and I seriously doubt he would know how to get out," said Lina.

"Dad lay off her. At least _she_ can handle dealing with demons without getting killed for it," said Dean, moving slightly to shield Lina from his father. Something Sam was quick to copy.

It was pretty clear who's side they were on if it came to a fight, and it wasn't their father's. Though to be honest it was less of them needing to protect Lina and more of their dad needing protection from _her_.

* * *

They were halfway to Bobby's house when it happened. A truck _slammed_ into the Impala, causing most of the occupants barring Lina to go unconscious.

The driver had black eyes and appeared to be searching for something...likely the stone containing yellow eyes.

Lina had considered that which was why she left it someplace no one would think to look.

Inside the trunk, stuffed inside one of the salt bags she had carefully retied. If that demon _did_ get out he would be in for a lot of pain, which seemed to appease the boys. And no one possessed would be able to get it out without screaming.

Lina quickly cast the first healing spell she could manage before she slowly made her way to Dean. He was hurt the worst having taken the hardest hit.

John was too out of it to realize his daughter-in-law was casting magic, and Sam was drifting in and out of consciousness. Once Dean was more or less stabilized, she went to Sam and healed him enough that he could cast his own healing spell. Then she went back to Dean.

John could wait, and if he realized what she was doing he would ask questions she wasn't inclined to answer.

By the time the paramedics arrived (the demon had given up when it realized it couldn't get to the trunk) Dean's skull fracture and brain trauma were healed enough that he wouldn't be put into a coma, but he would be need a long healing sleep and plenty of rest time.

Or at least a massive food bill for Sam and Lina once they were done casting magic.

He would still need at least a week's rest to deal with the injuries. Sam and Lina got off lucky...they had been wearing seat belts at the time.

Lina was scowling. Somehow or another Dean ended up astral projecting despite the fact he was just asleep. She had even overheard it from the doctor that once his body healed up enough he would wake up. Sam had a minor fracture on his left arm, one he discreetly healed after he had the cast put on. He still kept the painkillers and antibiotics though...you never knew when you would need them later.

John was the second worst off. He had several fractured ribs, a broken arm and a sprained leg.

Lina was the least injured. Any wounds she had were healed while she saved Dean's life. A slow-acting recovery spell was the brain child of a white mage back home for battlefield medics when they had injuries of their own that they couldn't stop to treat while saving others. She had learned it from her sister.

Either way there wasn't any reason for Dean's mind to up and take a walk while his body was still recovering. There was no telling if the amulet would allow it to return.

Which was why Lina was on the warpath looking for it.

"What's wrong?"

"Your idiot brother's soul is doing a walkabout when he should be asleep recovering. Unfortunately I don't know any spells to drag his sorry ass back!"

"What about the amulet?"

"If you find Dean you drag him back to his room and tell him to stay put. He's not actually in a coma, but the slow-recovery spell I cast does take time for it to fully work. He's mostly in a healing sleep at the moment."

"Some people would call that a coma."

"He's not in deep enough and it's mostly his body has shut down and gone into restoration mode," clarified Lina, before switching the subject "Besides if he doesn't get in a barrier soon he might get picked off by a reaper. From what I've read they like to hang around major hospitals."

"You think one is here?" said Sam worriedly.

"I think the wisp of something I saw earlier might be a reaper. If we're lucky it's just a ghost but I'd rather not take chances."

Sam agreed completely. He made sure to keep an eye out for Dean.

Dean found him in their father's room, and Sam forced him to stay in his own room until they could figure out a way to put him back where he belonged.

* * *

Meanwhile Lina was up to mischief...sort of.

In her world there wasn't such a thing as cancer, as such a thing was generally healed by white mages before it got too bad. Most people had the sense to seek sorcerers to heal ailments, or they lucked out in other ways.

So when she found a child in a large amount of pain from stage-four cancer, her maternal instincts kicked in full-force and she cast a very strong healing spell, calling upon the Lady for strength.

Thanks to the spell, the cancer was being eaten away by Lina's magic...and she then spent the next hour and a half debating _Harry Potter_ with the kid.

"I'm not saying I hate the old geezer, but he seems a bit too much like a king for my tastes and it's like no one even realizes it!"

"But he's Dumbledore!"

"Let me put it this way. He runs a _castle_ in the top dog spot, he acts as a diplomat with other countries, and he's the top judge in the country. Now tell me that doesn't sound like a king to you," explained Lina.

The kid frowned, working that over in his head before he realized she had a point. Kings lived in castles, were the highest authority in the law and they acted as diplomats with other countries. Dumbledore was all three, which pretty much made him a king in all but name. Even his political power was reminiscent of the kings of old.

"But what about the Order?" he countered.

"Even in the books Dumbledore had all this information, but he never properly acted on it. He's an extreme pacifist and he didn't even get involved except when he had no other choice. And the pairings...what was she smoking when she came up with Ron/Hermione and Harry/Ginny? I mean they are the _worst_ I've ever seen! At the very least she should have shipped Harry/Luna," said Lina.

Judging by the kid's grimace, he agreed with that at least.

"Say, do you know anyone else in this ward with the same odds you had that I could bring in for reinforcements?" she asked with a grin.

Apparently there were four sick kids with a terminal disease stuck in the hospital. One of which was about to be targeted by the reaper who noticed Dean walking around like an idiot.

Lina discreetly visited all four and laid the same spell on each of them, letting the magic do most of the work. Sure she'd probably demolish some nearby restaurant, but seeing the looks on the kid's faces when they realized that they now had a chance made it entirely worth it.

And, as she would later find out, kick-start the appearance of sorcery in this world. Mostly white and astral magic, seeing as how people wisely avoided Lucifer or Beelzebub's power because others would take it the wrong way and it would attract the wrong attention, but it would lead to headaches for hunters later.

Either way she had definitely thrown a wrench in the reaper's job and given the 'woman' a headache.


	8. Chapter 8

"I gotta say, it's weird seeing you berate Dean for doing something stupid and not seeing the terrified expression on his face while you're doing it."

Xellos, the only one who could see Dean at the moment (John just thought he was a psychic of some kind), gave an amused smirk as he relayed Dean's reply to that.

"He says 'Screw you Sammy, and I'm not scared of your damn wife!'."

"Then why is there a wet spot on your hospital gown?" countered Sam, snickering.

He didn't need Xellos to translate for Dean at the moment, the look on his face said plenty of how amused he was.

"In any case how do we stick the dumbass back in his body?"

"If I may, Miss Lina, I would recommend teaching him astral magic sooner rather than later. Though you would have to do it in a protected room, since this world has predators for the unwary."

"What do you mean, predators?"

"It would seem that when certain souls are unable to pass on, but aren't evil enough to go to hell, they turn into monsters just waiting to hijack the bodies of anyone living."

It took Lina a moment, but when she realized what she was saying she groaned.

"Oh dear Lady, you mean to tell me that because of the lack of magic here I have to deal with cleaning up the astral realm like they did back after the barrier first went up?"

"In this case I would train him how to astral project, but wait for Zelgadis to help you because he's had to deal with a few of them before. They leave me alone because they instinctively know I'll destroy them, but a regular human wouldn't be nearly as fortunate."

"What are you talking about?" asked Sam, completely confused.

"You know how reapers can only exist on the spiritual plane and can't be seen by humans?"

"Yeah."

"Well there is a large number of creatures that also exist on the astral plain, but a good chunk of them like to target humans for an easy way back onto the physical one. Back home the shamans tend to do a scheduled sweep of the things and teach their apprentices how to combat them while they're astral walking, but here there hasn't been a regular cleaning in centuries. Meaning that anyone having an out-of-body experience is like putting a target on their back screaming 'eat me, my body is open to being possessed by something _other_ than a demon!' to them. The amulet I gave Dean keeps his body safe, but I'm betting it won't let him back in if he tried to go back early."

"So what do we do?"

"We have two options. One, we risk Dean's spirit and remove the amulet. Or two, we wait for Dean's body to heal enough that it wakes up on it's own and he instinctively goes back in. Personally I think it's easier to wait."

"Will he remember anything though?"

"If he doesn't I'll be sure to get him so drunk he wakes up with the mother of all hangovers and explain to him in excruciating detail in a very loud voice," said Lina without hesitation.

Sam and Xellos had a very _amused_ expression on their faces.

"I love you," said Sam, kissing Lina on the forehead. She was about a foot shorter than he was, but you wouldn't exactly notice it when she was on a roll with her rants.

"Dean would like me to ask that you keep the 'girly-romantic crap' for when you leave the room because he feels nauseous being around that much lovey-dovey nonsense," said Xellos. Who was looking a mite ill himself.

"Oi, I'm allowed a few moments of romance, considering I like gore-films more than you do, Mr. I-have-a-Dr.-Sexy-wallpaper!"

"Dr. Sexy wallpaper?" said Sam grinning evilly. Okay, now he was hoping Dean didn't remember this because he could mock him endlessly.

"A full-body of Dr. Sexy with his cowboy boots, thankfully with clothes on," said Lina. She had picked up Dean's phone by accident one morning and only realized the mistake when she saw the wallpaper. She kept it filed for future reference though.

Sam cracked up.

"Well Xellos you stick around to keep that reaper far from Dean. Regale him with some of the mischief I got up to back home if you want, or tell him more about the Lady. In the meantime Sammy is going with me to visit the kids I've been healing. I _know_ it's pissed the resident reaper off because I'm making a mockery of her job."

"'Her'?" said Sam.

"The reaper's name is Tessa. Most of them are people who left their bodies like Dean, but managed to run into another reaper in time after their bodies were possessed. Death uses them to keep the balance of souls in this world," explained Xellos.

"Please for the love of all things magical tell me that my brother wasn't stupid enough to hit on her like he does everything else female and not my wife."

"You're in luck. He was more concerned about getting back into his body than trying to 'woo' a reaper," said Xellos amused at the looks Dean was giving his brother. Sam sighed in relief.

The children were _thrilled_ to have someone as big as Sam to visit them. The doctors were still baffled as to why they were getting better, but they decided merely to pat themselves on the back for a good job and figure it out later. Every child Lina healed was a patient of the long-term wards.

Though she was startled to learn that the Lady's sense of humor had struck again, because they all registered as having magic. And a lot of it.

She wasn't about to leave five budding sorcerers alone without some idea of what to do, so she started teaching them the same spell she used to heal their ailments. As well as left an _English_ copy of white magic spells that they could use, and a warning not to try any astral ones because of the things that preyed on humans who did so.

They could pass themselves off as faith healers until sorcery became more common.

Sam was a gentle giant, and at least he knew Lina would be great when they finally did have kids. Who knew Lina had a maternal side to her?

Sam of course was openly amused to see her debating everything from _Harry Potter_ to the latest Gundam series. It was official...when they had kids Lina would be the cool mom that most children would love to have.

Even if she could scare the pants off anyone who annoyed her too much.

"It's nice to see them smiling again."

Sam noticed it was one of the nurses in the long-term ward.

"What do you mean?"

"Those five were all diagnosed with incurable diseases and ailments. Jake and Helen, for example, had stage four cancer. Derrick had a tumor in his brain that was inoperable. Luke had a bad heart and was on the transplant list, but it didn't look good for his chances to get one before it was too late. And Anna had a terminal disease. Yet here they are, smiling. We don't know how to explain it, but it's like they've been given a new lease on life," said the nurse.

Sam looked at Lina and had a knowing look in his eyes. He had the feeling she was behind their sudden road to recovery, and from the way the kids treated her he was betting she had done it while they were awake. It would explain a lot.

* * *

As Lina suspected, once his body healed up enough all he needed was a quick shock to the ass to wake up and his spirit naturally migrated back to his body. How he managed to get separated from it in the first place she had no idea, as Dean had been adamant about not learning magic outside of basic healing spells from the start.

But after this she didn't care if he was wary of sorcery. He was going to learn astral magic before it got him killed or worse, possessed. Oddly enough his little adventure only _boosted_ his affinity towards astral magic, not hindered it.

Probably because according to Xellos, Dean's soul was still partially sticking out thanks to the amulet.

Either way he needed to be taught for his own safety, and Bobby certainly wasn't budging on the subject.

He was still pretty damn pissed John had gone and gotten himself killed shortly after leaving the hospital while trying to track down the 'demon' Lina had made a bargain with in order to have magic.

Idiot.

On the plus side, they still had the Colt, but it was stuffed inside a three bag system. One was a regular salt bag, the second was a bag filled with holy water made by Lina, and the third was iron filings with the Colt itself heavily wrapped in plastic along with most of the bullets. They were still waiting to see if Lina could in fact enchant more of them or possibly make substitutes for the original ones, as only one bullet had been left out.

Which meant Dean and Lina were in the basement where Bobby had a panic room with the door closed, the place salted just in case, and every protection they could think of from the astral plain barring that to keep whatever Xellos was (Lina knew but she wasn't talking) out.

Lina didn't really know much about astral magic, except what Zelgadis had told her about it after they dealt with Rezo. For someone as serious as Zel was, he had a surprising grasp on dry wit and sarcasm. So whenever she needed someone to bounce ideas off of about magic, she generally went to him if he was nearby. For white magic she usually stuck with Amelia.

Even then they would sometimes have long debates on their different styles in the long nights.

Lina really missed her friends and those discussions. Xellos worked in a pinch, but he wasn't as interested in talking about it for hours on end.

Back to the lessons.

Dean, upon realizing Lina wasn't going to budge and that Bobby was backing him up on this, reluctantly sat down in the panic room to _learn_ something.

Unfortunately for him, Lina realized a long time ago that simple book learning was not for Dean. He was too impatient and hard wired for action...so she took a few pages out of her sister's book and made Dean see hell. Sam almost got roped into it as well, except he proved he _could_ sit down and learn it from a book by repeating the exorcism chant word for word without faltering.

Until Dean could do the same, he would have to suffer through Luna Inverse's idea of training, which Lina remembered far too vividly.

* * *

"I can't take this anymore! I _need_ to hunt something!" said Dean after a loooong month of Lina's grueling training. On the plus side, he no longer lost his weapon nine times out of ten like he did before.

John might have known how to _use_ a knife and gun thanks to his military training, but he apparently never learned how to _hold_ said weapons or failed to teach his sons. Lina, being from a world where such lessons could mean life or death, did. And she made very sure all three hunters knew these simple tricks so they didn't automatically lose their weapon during a hunt. Even Bobby sat through them and learned something.

"So you want to hunt do you? I suppose we can take a break, but don't think I'll let you slack off," said Lina.

"Thank the Lady!" said Dean theatrically.

Lina had officially converted them to her religion. Mostly because unlike the God of this world (currently on vacation), the Lord of Nightmares actually listened and gave a timely answer. It might not always be the answer you wanted, but at least it _was_ one.

Though she still hadn't exactly _told_ them who the 'Lady' was. Only that while the God of this world was considered a 'male', she was more or less considered a 'female' whenever one spoke about her. There were several references and even Xellos spoke of her as in a mothering role.

However any thoughts of training went out the window when she saw a familiar hunter waiting at the bar. They were going after vampires, but everything she looked into only spoke of cattle mutilations and no 'unusual' human deaths.

She was beginning to have a sinking feeling that this was a coven of _Twilight_ enthusiasts they were dealing with, and that meant she might have to kill them on principle because she _hated_ that series.

"What's wrong?" asked Sam.

"Gordon. Don't try partnering up with him because he's an ass who has a nasty habit of using his 'partners' as bait for vampires and if they get bitten he'll kill them. He also doesn't even bother to try and help them if they get stuck in a fight," said Lina with disgust.

Ellen was a fountain of information on other hunters and their habits. It came from what happened with John and her husband. So she made sure to get a decent idea of what each hunter was like with a temporary partner along, if only to tell greenhorns who to join up with and who to avoid.

Gordon made the top of the 'Avoid' list, with John Winchester being in the Top Ten.

"So what do we do?"

"I'll flying until I see anyone eating straight from the animal and follow them back to the nest. If they're a bunch of _Twilight_ (she shuddered at the name) enthusiasts and not a regular coven, I might help them escape. If they're a rookie nest with common sense, I'll end them myself. You two keep Gordon busy and for the love of the Lady don't let him use you as bait," said Lina, covering her mouth from view of said hunter with her glass.

"Gotcha."

* * *

Lina would return three hours later.

"Good news and bad news."

"What's the bad?"

"There are vampires here and they were a bit wary of me when they realized I was a hunter and followed them."

"And the good?" asked Sam.

"They hate _Twilight_ as much as I do, but were willing to listen to reason."

"Why do you hate that series so much?"

"It was boring, and full of too much teenaged angst. Not to mention the idea of werewolves and vampires _willingly_ making an agreement like that with the territories being so close is ridiculous. Then there's the fact that the main character was way too emo for any sane reader to tolerate. Real vampires _do not sparkle_ dammit."

"This coming from the woman who cheers on Alucard whenever she watches _Hellsing Ultimate_?" said Sam with open amusement.

"Hell yes! Alucard For The Win bitches!" said Lina cackling. She _loved_ Alucard.

It took her a few hours to work things out, but by dawn a day later there weren't any vampires left in town.


	9. Chapter 9

Lina found herself with a rather lucrative business with the hunters (she said cash only since it was harder to track) in protective amulets.

After selling a spare she had on hand to one of the older hunters for a couple hundred, he started spreading the word of how effective they were when it saved his life from a ghost that tried to strangle him but couldn't.

So she set up shop at Ellen's bar in the back making protective amulets for a month using real gem stones and precious metals. Fortunately the Roadhouse was apparently on top of a natural leyline that had never been tapped before, so she mostly used the energy from that to power the amulets.

And when she finished with those, she convinced Ellen to let her 'bless' the Roadhouse itself for extra protection. Considering she had heard from Bobby how effective Lina was at those on something other than plain holy water, Ellen allowed it...but she still watched the thing from start to finish.

Lina actually sold the amulets cheaper than most jewelry stores would have for custom orders.

She bought the gems that didn't make jewelry grade and were mostly loose and scratched up from other gems or rocks. Stores generally were glad to be rid of them since they didn't sell as well to scrutinizing buyers. They also sold the scraps of metal left over from custom orders...Lina just had to talk to the manager of the store and get them.

The thing was her amulets didn't need to be pretty or perfect. Generally when she made them the imperfections fixed themselves up when they took in the energy. She could sell the ones that _didn't_ take back to the stores and get more money that way.

Sure buying the engraving tools and learning how to do it by hand was a major pain, but totally worth it.

The number of deaths among hunters had dropped, and they honestly claimed that the pendants were religious pieces if they were ever arrested. Considering that they _looked_ like they were religious, the cops never questioned it.

So she had to rent from Ellen for two months while she worked on them. A basic protection amulet was usually something people learned during basic magical training. The advanced ones were more powerful, but rarely used.

Even then she mostly used these to sell the gemstones at a higher price. Here though they took on another role since possession was extremely rare in her world.

They actually had a kick to them, making her wonder what would happen if some of the older protection amulets were used.

On the plus side, she did bond with Ellen's daughter Jo. She considered the girl like a little sister and even taught her the Lina Wincester method of scaring the pants off guys who wouldn't take a hint. Much to the horror of some of the other hunters, Ellen was taught as well and used it on the older, more cynical hunters into paying their damn bar tab.

She might be lenient about payments (often accepting weapons in lieu of cash) but she still had a business to run.

So now there were three of them that could scare men shitless with just a look. Dean was horrified, for good reason. Mostly because combined with Ellen's natural "Mom" look it was a very devastating weapon. Not to mention it was bad enough having one Lina around...now there were more of them and all of them perfectly capable of making the boys sleep on the couch.

That meant Dean tended to sit with Ash instead, being the poor hen-pecked soul who lived at the Roadhouse. Besides, he was a fellow connoisseur of the music Dean listened to most.

* * *

That didn't mean that the boys or Lina were stupid enough to get in the epic catfight between Jo and Ellen over the fact Jo wanted to be a hunter. They weren't suicidal.

Jo laid out her research and the fact it was a simple haunting, hoping that would appease her mother.

Unfortunately Lina had spotted an...issue... that Jo never noticed while she was looking this up. Nearly all the victims were young, blond and female. Which could easily sum up a description of Jo. Ellen was not pleased.

"What if I took Jo on another hunt, one where the ghost _isn't_ targeting girls like her specifically? She would have one of my more powerful amulets and I would be with her at all times," said Lina. She liked Jo, she really did, but she wasn't going to risk her friend over something as stupid as this.

Ellen still looked pissed about this whole thing.

"I'll bring Bobby in as back up," said Lina.

Now she looked like she was considering it.

"Call Bobby and make sure she is with you at _all_ times and I MIGHT allow it," said Ellen grudgingly. She trusted Bobby with her life.

Jo gave Lina an awestruck look. This was the first time her mom had _ever_ backed down on the subject.

"In the meantime you two are going to deal with this particular hunt. No sense letting it go, considering the research she's done."

"Yes ma'am," said Dean. Jo snickered and made a familiar sound that clearly stated she thought Dean was 'whipped'.

"Ironic that I married his younger brother and he's the one that's whipped, isn't it?"

Jo's snickering turned into outright laughter. It was pretty funny.

"How is it that your husband isn't?"

"He understands one fact Dean has trouble dealing with. I am _used_ to being the one in control of the relationship and I tend to be bitchy when it's the other way around without a good reason. Dean's too macho to let someone else take point unless he has no other choice. In other words Sam doesn't mind being the Uke everywhere but the bedroom," said Lina.

Jo snickered. Like Lina she had a thing for yaoi so she was aware of what the term meant...even if she was slightly mortified to see her mother joining them in watching some rather raunchy videos...or worse, borrowing them. So long as she saw and heard nothing, she could pretend ignorance of the subject.

"So does that make Dean the Seme?"

"Also why Sam was capable of putting up with Dean for so long before his overprotective tendencies drove him off," said Lina snickering. Then she remembered something she found by accident and an evil glint came to her eye. "I've got a few sites to show you later. Trust me you'll crack up."

Sam shuddered.

"Why am I currently fearing for what little sanity I have left?"

"What does that mean?" asked Dean.

"She only has that look in her eye when she's come up with a hilarious prank or knows something that's liable to give us nightmares for weeks."

Dean glowered at Lina.

"Like that trick with the shower head. I know it was you!"

"I have to hear this!"

"I occasionally booby trap showerheads for a quick laugh. So far Dean's walked away smelling like beef and chicken," said Lina.

Seeing the evil glint in Jo's eyes, Lina knew she had a new accomplice in her pranks.

* * *

"DAMMIT NOT AGAIN! HOW DOES SHE KEEP SNEAKING INTO THE BATHROOM RIGHT BEFORE ME TO PLANT THESE THINGS?!"

Sam looked up from his laptop to the snickering Lina and Jo. They had joined up at the end of their hunt and Lina couldn't resist pranking Dean.

"What did you hit him with this time?"

"Time delayed Kool-Aid inside a piece of paper so the water looks like it's clear until he gets in," said Lina.

Dean had picked up the habit of running the water for a few minutes, partly to get it warm enough, but mostly so he wouldn't get pranked again.

Sam chuckled.

Dean stormed out of the cheap bathroom motel and Sam had to snap a few pictures with his phone before he broke down laughing his ass off.

"What is it with you and showerheads?!" he complained. He was head to toe orange.

"They're so easy to boobytrap! And to be fair, you could have been purple. Jo suggested grape," said Lina.

"Of course you realize, this means war."

"Not it!" shouted Sam. No way was he getting in the middle of a prank war between his brother and wife. He wasn't an idiot.

"Bring it on," said Lina smirking.

"Until the sanity levels return to normal I'm going to join Ash in research mode," said Sam loudly.

"Me too! Wouldn't be fair to have the deviousness of two girls after poor Dean here," said Jo.

"In that case we leave Xellos out too."

"Spoil all my fun why don't you," said Lina.

"Just keeping things _fair_ , little sister," said Dean grinning evilly. Payback was going to be a bitch and served on swift wings.

The prank war would be _legendary_ among the hunter community. The only things safe were Bobby's house, the impala (because Lina didn't want to hear Dean bitch about her touching his precious car) and the kitchens.

Lina had a recording of Dean screaming like a little girl when he found a very realistic rubber snake in his bed one night. He had laid down and when he realized there was something in it with him, he jumped as the thing twitched before he realized it was moving thanks to the clever use of some near-invisible fishing line and hissing courtesy of Lina playing a recording on a tape recorder.

Sam had woken up thinking his brother was being attacked only to need a few minutes to calm down from laughing so hard at Dean's reaction...and the amount of swearing he let off when he realized the 'snake' was rubber.

That didn't mean Dean was entirely without his tricks. He slipped unspeakable things into Lina's food when she wasn't looking...namely hot sauce, wasabi, and occasionally he would switch the salt with sugar and the pepper with coffee grounds.

Lina would also slip her more intense yaoi collection into the videos Dean watched, and Dean tried to counter it with some girl-on-girl porn.

Unfortunately this only made Lina laugh and ask Sam if he was open to a threesome (or foursome) while Dean was drinking hot coffee in the morning. He quickly found out hot coffee up the nose hurt like a bitch. And worse yet Lina followed through with the idea in a hotel with paper-thin walls and he couldn't get any that night because she discreetly warned the other girls off him.

Same gender pairings weren't frowned upon in her world. Hell, there was an entire village of 'females' where they killed guys on sight and she knew that no one gave a crap if they happened to share the same bed.

Sam was tired that morning, but the looks Dean shot him were entirely worth it. So was the look on Dean's face when his phone started playing the _"My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic"_ theme song in front of all those women out looking for a quick roll in the hay while Lina was in the restroom.

Sam laughed for a straight hour every time he looked at his brother's face...the mortified expression was entirely too funny.

Then Lina pulled one on him for shits and giggles...his phone played _'YMCA'_ and Dean had a vindicated expression on his face.

It finally came to a head when Dean cracked open his father's journal...and found an odd piece of printed paper with a weird title.

He read, mostly out of curiosity and wondering what the heck it was, but once he realized _what_ he was reading he couldn't drop it fast enough. He treated the innocent seeming paper like one would treat a diseased leper who wanted to cuddle.

Sam picked it up, wondering what Lina had printed off that could cause _that_ reaction in his brother who couldn't look him in the eye at the moment.

It took him until he was about half-way down the page before he paled and dropped it on the floor like it was Lina during that time of the month and she had just brought up another massive shark, this one alive and ready to eat him.

Lina captured their expressions and cackled, holding her side from laughing so hard.

"Where in the _hell_ did you find THAT?!"

"Fanfiction dot net. What's the matter Dean, never read a fanfic before?" cackled Lina.

Lina had printed out what a certain fanbase called "Wincest" with Sam being the top and Dean being a very _submissive_ bottom. With hints of a kinky slave and master relationship and wings for both. In the impala.

The reason it took them so long to realize it was _them_ that they were reading was because they still hadn't stumbled across a certain book called _Supernatural_ or their rabid fanbase who seemed to think Sam and Dean's CLOSE relationship was hinting at something else. Naturally there was a good chunk of said fans that were yaoi enthusiasts.

Dean should have been glad she hadn't printed out a piece of fanart of them without clothes and in a very compromising position.

Dean looked sick to his stomach, and Sam still looked rather pale.

"You win...for the love of the Lady, please don't leave another one of _those_ anywhere I can read them!" begged Dean. Lina fell back onto the bed laughing her ass off.

She would later leave a piece of fan art on Sam's computer when he had seen Dean on it earlier...the shouting match lasted until they realized Lina was laughing at them again.

Needless to say they were both very happy that they had a habit of getting separate rooms since the wedding. Even if they had great trouble looking each other in the eye for a full week. And Bobby had laughed himself into hiccups when he found out _why_. And then Ellen had Jo help her to find said website so she could tease the boys endlessly with snippets left behind in convenient places where they could find them.


	10. Chapter 10

"WHO ATE THE LAST OF THE BROWNIES?!"

Dean winced, then tried to escape. Unfortunately Sam was all too happy to abandon his brother to the fate of a doomed man, because he tripped him without any hesitation. The evidence of Dean's raid on the baked goods was still very much present on his mouth when Lina stalked into the room. She took one look at the dusting of powdered sugar still on his mouth, then reached for her gun which Sam had gotten her upon learning she lost her powers for four very long days during that time of the month.

Naturally he never told Dean this tidbit, as he found his brother's reaction to Lina on a rampage hilarious. Now he had something to shut his brother up whenever he complained Sam was 'acting like a girl'.

"Target practice. Five minutes. Outside," said Lina with no uncertain terms that she _would_ hunt his ass down if he tried to escape her wrath.

"We were out of pie!" said Dean, trying to at least divert his irate sister-in-law from trying to shoot him in the ass. Again. For the fifth time since Lina married Sam.

"Dean, just let her shoot you once and get it over with. We both know Bobby will just tell her where to look if you try to hide," said Sam, turning the page of his book.

Bobby grunted in agreement, mostly because he also got some private enjoyment out of Dean learning a _very_ healthy respect for women.

Seeing the look in Dean's eyes, Sam sighed.

"I _might_ be able to calm her down...but it'll cost you."

"Name your price," said Dean immediately.

"I get to pick the music next time we go out on a hunt. And you have to eat something healthy for a week."

Dean winced.

"It's your choice. Get shot by my hormonal wife, or have to deal with something other than mullet rock and eating somewhat healthy for a week. And before you ask, I'm not cruel enough to take the pie away."

Dean seriously considered it. Pain, or having to deal with not having pick of the music. Decisions, decisions.

"None of that new pop crap and you have a deal."

Considering neither Lina or Sam liked that particular genre overly much, it was an easy agreement to make.

* * *

Dean reluctantly admitted Linkin Park and Nickelback weren't too bad...but he still preferred AC/DC.

At this point he was still trying to come to terms with the fact that he wasn't in control of the music.

"So what's the case?"

"Suspected demon deal, so hell hounds at the very least," said Sam.

"Joy. I get to practice on whether or not the Ragna Blade works on demons."

"You still promised to teach me that one," said Sam.

"Your reserves aren't _nearly_ big enough to handle even trying to cast it. Hell, you can barely use a Dragon Slave, and that's the most widely known high level black magic spell there is!"

It was widely known mainly because next to the fireball it was Lina's favorite. And she wasn't shy about using it. And before the Lady gave her such a massive boost, she could barely use the Ragna Blade at full power for more than a few minutes.

* * *

Okay, whatever she thought the king of the crossroads would look like, she honestly would not have guessed he was so...so...British.

"So, Doctor Who, are you going to let that poor bastard off or am I going to have to freeze your face off with this nice portable tank of liquid nitrogen down your throat that's been blessed?" asked Lina, her hand on his collar.

Crowley eyed the tank.

"You actually blessed the tank?"

"You're talking to someone who blesses every bottle of liquor I get my hands on so demons will burn the same way angels do when doused in a holy oil Molotov Cocktail," deadpanned Lina.

Crowley eyed Lina with some respect.

"Red hair, blazing eyes, short temper and even shorter in height, about a C-cup chest and married to that Moose. You're Lina Winchester aren't you?"

"What do you know...a demon with an actual brain. Will wonders never cease."

"What do you care about that schmuck anyway?"

"I don't, but Sam and Dean do. And frankly it's easier for them to believe I'm not a hack-job witch so long as I at least _try_ to pretend that I give a damn about anyone but my friends. I used to destroy entire _towns_ with a single spell and it never made me loose any sleep over the fact they had to rebuild," said Lina flatly.

"Bullshit," said Crowley.

"Do you know of the Delacruz, Giovanni and Romanoff mafia families?"

"We've had a few dealings with certain members, why?"

"I was the one who went in and wiped the families out overnight and pissed off the Feds after their ass," said Lina.

A demon could tell when people were lying, a crossroad demon, more so. And Lina Winchester wasn't lying.

"Those craters were your doing? It was beautiful seeing the suffering of those idiots and collecting the souls early because they pissed off the wrong person. Are you going to be doing similar damage to Azazel?"

"Who?"

"Old yellow eyes."

"Absolutely and anyone else who's stupid enough to piss me off. I've already trapped Yellow eyes once and then stuffed him in a salt bag that later fell into a septic tank that hadn't been cleaned since it was installed," said Lina.

Crowley's laughter made her smirk.

"You keep pissing off the others and leave me be and I'll let the idiot go. You're too entertaining to get rid of."

"...Want to exchange numbers so I can tell you more about how I cause human suffering and introduce you to my world's version of demons?"

Time to make Xellos suffer for once dammit.

"How much suffering?"

"I'm called the Bandit Killer and the 'Enemy of All Who Live' respectively because I generally could care less about wiping towns off the map," said Lina.

She was never going to revive that damn Dragon Spooker nickname, and with any luck Xellos would never mention it either. If he did she would so make his life a living hell.

"Sold," said Crowley. This woman was too amusing to let go. Too bad she had already married the moose.

* * *

"How the hell did you get him to back off?"

"Told him he could call me up for tea and a chat...in exchange for me not shoving the blessed tank full of liquid nitrogen down his throat and spraying him with it."

Sam kissed his wife on the lips.

"Get a room you two! And how the hell did that scare him off?" asked Dean.

"I called the King of the Crossroads and apparently amused him so much that he agreed to let him go. Though I did make plans to drag Xellos with me to make his life a little more miserable. Besides, so long as I'm screwing up the plans of other demons, he actually likes me," said Lina.

"I'm actually more terrified of the fact that the King of the Crossroads happens to _like_ you than I am of you on your period," deadpanned Dean.

"To be fair, one of my nicknames was the 'Enemy of All Who Live' because of my casual disregard to the damage a single well cast Dragon Slave can produce and my overuse of the spell in question," said Lina. "And it's less of him liking me and more along the lines of me being a very willing accomplice to pissing off the more powerful demons and helping him get even higher on the pecking order."

"Oh. That I can live with," said Dean.

Lina pissing off demons? Yeah, he could live with that idea so long as she kept _him_ out of her fun.

"Speaking of rooms... we better get separate ones tonight Dean," said Sam, giving his wife a look.

"On one condition," said Dean.

"What?"

"She does NOT ring my damn cell phone while I'm taking to some random tramp. I don't know how you changed my ringtone to _that_ but I don't need the gay guys hitting on me again!"

"What, I thought you liked the classics?" said Lina impishly.

"Not those kind of classics!" said Dean with a whine.

"Lina, can I borrow your phone for a minute?" asked Sam, when Dean was out of earshot. Lina smirked and handed it over.

Sam called Dean, and then he heard it and burst out laughing.

"I thought Dean learned to hide his phone from you after you put that full frontal picture of...that...on it as his wallpaper."

"He hides it from me. He can't hide it from Xellos," said Lina. She just told Xellos to change his wallpaper to some pretty provocative Wincest fan art and his ringtone to 'Macho Man'. Dean's scream of horror had been particularly satisfying and Xellos had enjoyed the distinct feeling of disgust, revulsion and absolute horror coming from the older Winchester. It was addicting!

"Remind me to give him some ideas later," said Sam smirking. Lina's ongoing prank war with Dean was fun. The fact he could slip some in and Dean would think it was Lina's doing was a blast...and it kept Dean from trying to smother him.

He was too busy trying not to piss off Lina and learning how far he could push her before she tried to set him on fire.

Fortunately he wasn't stupid enough to give Lina the same mother-hen attitude he once gave Sam.

Made living with Dean a lot easier, now that he had someone to buffer his brother.

Lina grinned at her husband and pulled out a book that had Sam dragging them back into the room and locking the door.

Interesting positions took a whole new perspective once you mastered the floatation spell...and figured out how to hold it during the fun parts.

Dean had never been more jealous of Sam and his wife than when Sam let that little tidbit slip.

* * *

"Just so you know, I hate you all and I find this entire thing a monumental pain in the ass," said Lina, being holed up in a clinic was not her idea of fun.

"Can't you do anything?" asked Dean.

"I can find who the hell sent Sam that vision and roast their ass slowly. I can kill all the infected with a single attack and still have energy to deal with anyone stupid enough to piss me off. I can turn your skin pink for a week," said Lina.

"No more Kool-Aid pranks. It took _forever_ to get the smell of blue raspberry and lemonade out of my hair," said Dean. Sam snorted in amusement remembrance. Dean had looked like someone out of the Blue Man Group for a week after that prank. Lina planned to use food coloring next time. Frozen food coloring so Dean didn't realize what was going on.

"Wait, what do you mean kill them?" said the lone soldier of the group.

"I mean that unless you people have a solid plan on how to reverse that crap in their system, and before you ask Sam I don't have anything to do that, let alone the power for it, the easiest thing we can do is put them out of their misery. Of course we'd have to vacate the area pretty quick if we want to avoid the Feds," said Lina.

"You're in trouble with the law?"

"More like they're pissed I ruined several undercover operations in a few mafia groups when I wiped out a couple of gang families. Good thing they didn't look up, and the survivors were too terrified of telling them what I looked like."

Technically she wasn't in trouble, but the idea of the Americans learning about magic gave her migraines no amount of liquor could cure. That and she had seen one too many movies where they had screwed things up, even if most of those were fictional. They didn't need the help.

Then she saw the same boy Sam had seen in his vision. The one Dean had 'killed'.

Oh it was so on now. She took three quick steps towards him before she punched the bastard in the face.

"Lina, what..."

"I've gotten _really_ good at identifying demons since that idiot tried to kill me before we left Stanford. This fool's possessed and I'd bet you anything he's behind this damn plague or whatever the hell it is."

"What."

Dean reached into his pockets to find a packet of salt. He tore it open and threw it on the kid Lina had bitchslapped.

Hearing him scream was all the confirmation he needed.

"Have I ever said how much I love your wife?" said Dean.

"No, but I doubt it'll save you the next time you piss her off," said Sam, snorting.

"What was that?"

"Table salt. Demons can't stand the stuff," said Dean.

Sam and Dean managed to force the demon into another room where Lina was left alone with it for an hour.

When she finally killed it, the infected vanished. They had no idea where, or why.

"Well?"

"Apparently yellow eyes had children. Remember Meg?"

"Yeah?"

"That was her brother. Little shit apparently didn't get the memo about me, or she neglected to mention I kicked her out on her ass. Either that or Xellos killed her," said Lina, frowning.

With the place cleared of the infected, and the demon forcibly exorcised and the kid given an amulet to prevent a second possession, the trio left back on the road.

It didn't surprise Dean in the least that the Master Sergeant took his advice to contact Bobby and become a hunter.

* * *

"Oh he is so dead."

Finding out Gordon was planning to kill Sam gave her all the reason to put him in the same category as bandits.

The fact he had missed and damn near hit Lina, more so.

Gordon didn't know what hit him, let alone the fact Lina had zero tolerance for those that tried to kill her or her traveling companions for any reason.

Setting him on fire with a Gaav Flare brought no sense of satisfaction, but a deep sense of relief.

The only good enemy was a dead enemy.


	11. Chapter 11

_**Happy (late) birthday to**_ **Cyber Drakonian _! Sorry I couldn't yesterday, but the cloud cover made it impossible for me to do anything on the wireless.  
_**

* * *

"Explain to me again why you don't believe in angels," said Lina.

After the mess with the shape shifter, who really didn't like Lina because she had smelled something wrong and sent Xellos after it...thank the Lady they escaped before the cops showed up, even if Lina had to put the fear of Herself into the poor idiots who had gotten caught in the mess.

Honestly, who calls Shifters "man droids"?

Sam was looking at Dean expectantly.

"Look, I can believe demons exist, the Lady only knows how much crap they've put us through. But angels? Not a chance."

"Yet there has to be something to counter the demons, otherwise they would have run roughshod over the humans by now," said Lina, countering his dismissal.

From what she understood of these...angels...they functioned much like the Dragon race did, only they were more arrogant and had to take human vessels. They were also much, much harder to kill, though the Lady still outranked them.

In terms of power she rivaled the one they called "Father".

Dean and Lina continued their stare off, until finally she sighed.

"Okay, I'll admit there aren't any angels around here. Just a misguided ghost priest."

Dean looked triumphant.

"However angels _are_ real... real dicks that is. Xellos has had a few run-ins with the idiots who won't take 'get lost' as an answer. Thankfully they've yet to cop on to his disappearing trick, but they're still pretty annoying. And from what I've heard from him most of the ones he's run into are sanctimonious assholes who automatically assume they're in the right just because they're 'holy' and 'light'. They also look down on us like monkeys."

Sam looked disappointed at that. So he decided to change the topic.

"Any idea how long until the timelines equalize for us to visit your world?"

Before Lina could say anything, Xellos appeared and gave an exact time frame.

"One year, nine months, three weeks and four days. And that's not including the time down to the second, which I'm not bothering to keep track of," said Xellos.

Lina blinked.

"So...set my calender then?"

" _She_ seems to think that a certain event must occur before she allows you to leave. Specifically you must prevent two things from happening, though if you prevent the first then the second will have almost no chance from happening."

"What's the second?"

"Dean spilling blood in hell," stated Xellos simply.

"Say what now?"

"There is a cage in hell, and Dean fits the requirements as a key player into breaking the first of many locks, which would open it. Doing that would bring something rather headache inducing to Earth. So keep him out of hell and away from demon deals, and you'll have succeeded in what the Lady sent you here for," said Xellos.

"Great. So all we have to do is convince the priest to give the old one the last rites, and it should take care of the problem here, right?"

"Essentially."

"Good. Then you get to tell Sam more about angels, and I'll look them up and hopefully find something that can help us deal with this crap."

* * *

Lina's search into angels eventually lead her to, strangely enough, old societies where hunters used to go in order to get information.

"Hey Bobby, you ever heard of something called the 'Men of Letters'?" she asked, looking up from Sam's computer.

"They went extinct one night a couple decades back, but they used to supply good intel to hunters while they were active. Why?"

"Because this symbol looks hella familiar, and I can't remember why."

Sam, who was mostly passing by on the way to get something to eat out of the fridge, paused when he saw the symbol Lina was talking about.

He backed up and went behind his wife.

"What?"

"Dad's journal."

"Huh?" said Lina.

Sam went into his room and brought back his dad's journal, which was still the mess it always was. He flipped through the pages to the back and found an almost illegible note from someone named Henry...which was right below the symbol on the site page.

"Okay, now I'm weirded out. Who's Henry?"

"Our grandfather. Specifically the one who up and left dad years ago and never came back," said Dean.

Now that peaked Lina's interest. If she knew secret societies, and she did since her world was rife with the damn things, that meant Dean and Sam could be what were known as "legacies". And if Bobby was right, that meant that there was a treasure trove of goodies just waiting to be found.

And if there was one thing that got Lina's blood pumping, it was the thought of a treasure hunt, even if all the treasure was happened to be old books full of magic...not all treasure had to be gold and jewels.

With that old familiar spark back in her eyes, Lina spent every waking moment trying to locate where the Men of Letters had hidden their library.

There was no way they were stupid enough to house it in the same place as their headquarters. Not with how vicious demons were.

Thankfully she could drive on her own.

It took three false tries and a lot of hard work digging up the last grave which didn't fit in before she found a set of dog tags. Jackpot.

* * *

"You want us to go _where_?" said Dean incredulous.

"Lebanon, Kansas. I might have a solid lead on the last remnant of the Men of Letters."

"Explain to me again why the hell we should care about them and waste the gas?"

Dean was in a foul mood after the last hunt, and wanted to go out and kill something.

Lina threw a dagger right in the middle of his legs, causing Dean to yelp at how close it had gotten to a certain part of his anatomy that he would very much like to keep intact.

She was having a rough week herself, since it was that time of the month for her.

Sam, the peacemaker of the three, sighed.

"How about we go on a hunt and if it's on the way we'll stop by?"

"What kind of hunt?"

"Well a college professor who wrote a successful book just took a nosedive out the window for no apparent reason," said Sam.

"Sold," said Dean. Hearing Lina growl, he winced. "We can hit this place on the way back? Why are you so interested anyway?"

"I haven't had a good adventure since I got to this planet, and I'll be damned if I let a possibly lucrative treasure hunt pass me by all because I was afraid of a little work."

"I highly doubt there's going to be any gold or treasure chests," said Dean.

"Treasure isn't always gold and jewels you idiot. I used to go raiding old tombs and temples just for the _chance_ at a rare book full of old spells. And according to Bobby, these Men of Letters used to be collectors of the really rare and valuable books meant to help kill things. No way am I passing up a chance at their infamous library," said Lina.

"A library?" perked up Sam.

"And possibly some more effective weapons, considering I highly doubt they were dumb enough not to pick something good up."

Dean perked up at that idea.

"Plus it might give us a way to kill that damn yellow eyes for good without having to try and use that stupid gun...or maybe even tell me how to forge a new one," said Lina.

"Sold. We'll make that pit stop after this hunt," said Dean.

* * *

One week, and Dean felt like he was in his own personal hell.

Not only were they getting _nowhere_ in this damn hunt, but some asshole had messed with his Baby! He would shoot people for less!

To add to his current migraine, Lina had somehow managed to crash Sam's computer while on the Busty Asian Beauties website, despite her claims she hadn't been trolling around the 'more interesting' parts of the internet after what happened last time.

(The last time being that Lina very nearly ended up with a fifty-five year old pervert who found the fact she was very open about her bedroom activities attractive, and he had managed to hunt her down until she put the fear of the Lady into him. Dean had laughed himself sick when he found out and Lina nearly set him on fire for it. Needless to say they were forbidden to speak of that headache every again lest Lina went on a rampage.)

Though she didn't deny she had a subscription to the 'Plus' package, just that she had been on it when she was more interested in finding more about the Men of Letters.

At least Sam wasn't blaming him for crashing it.

Suddenly they heard a racket outside, and looking out the window provided an unusual scene.

Lina was chasing the janitor who had witnessed the first death around with a flaming sword and not bothering to hide it.

"...Didn't her parents ever teach her not to run around with sharp objects?" said Dean finally.

"Think they'll chalk all this up to a movie thing?"

Thank the Lady for Hollywood and amateur film makers. Because so few believed in magic it made it easier to cover up the use by claiming they were doing a movie.

"Probably. Wonder what he did to piss her off so much?"

Sam dug out some binoculars and looked.

"Let's see...righteous indignation, absolutely pissed off expression on her face, eyes lit up like fiery coals...and a slap mark on the janitor's face... He must have grabbed her ass or otherwise tried to make a pass at her," concluded Sam.

Dean paused.

"You can tell that from all those signs?"

"The slap, mostly. Lina _hates_ it when people try to make a pass at her when she has her wedding ring on. Unless it's me doing it," said Sam.

Lina always wore her wedding ring. _Always_. Mostly because it kept the other guys away from her, but also because it was something she made herself and doubles as a protective amulet. Sam wore his for the same reason.

"Do not rope me into another discussion of your sex life," said Dean with a grimace.

"But Dean, I thought you enjoyed hearing all the dirty details," smirked Sam.

"Not when your wife spells my room and then records my performance with a one-night stand and starts to give _me_ pointers!" Dean shot back.

Lina had, in a mood to spice up her usual pranks on Dean, used a spell to record sound and visual using a crystal ball she had jokingly bought and a video camera. Sam had no idea she had done it seeing as how she cast another spell to silence the room she had it in, but the fact Lina had been _critiquing_ his brother's "performance" in bed and actually mentioned things Dean did the night before had been mortifying...more for Dean than Sam. Sam quickly got over it as Lina started commenting on how to 'improve' that aspect in a very loud voice while Dean's face took a rather red hue from embarrassment.

He was just glad Bobby hadn't heard what she said.

When Lina came back, she looked annoyed.

"What happened?" asked Sam.

"Stupid janitor thought to slap me on the ass while I was at the bar gathering intel. I'm pretty sure the asshole is the Trickster we've been hunting for the past week and a half," said Lina.

"How can you tell?"

"The little shit made some throw away comment about how I must be very good at lying my ass off if a 'witch' could fool a pair of hunters long enough to join them."

Sam and Dean winced. If there was one thing that set Lina off faster than someone hitting on her, it was being compared to a witch. No wonder she had chased him with a sword she had set on fire.

"So the janitor is the one we're after?" said Dean.

"Yup. Pretty sure he might be behind the flat tires on the car. Want me to hold him down while you set the bastard on fire?" asked Lina hopefully.

"Hell yes! The sooner we kill that son of a bitch, the sooner we can get out of here!"

"And head towards that house in Kansas," Sam reminded him.

"That too."

* * *

The Trickster (who turned out to be called Loki) had been caught completely off guard by Dean's fireball to his ass.

"How'd you guess it was me?" he had to ask. Neither Sam or Dean had gone anywhere near his locker long enough to find the candy wrappers or the articles.

"You pissed off my wife long enough to get her attention. Never call Lina a witch...it only ends in pain," said Sam wisely.

"Wait...you two muttonheads were actually desperate enough to make a deal with hell for magic? What sort of hunters are you?"

"That does it! If I hear one more reference towards us making deals for our power I am setting those feathers of yours on fire, you overgrown chicken!" said Lina irate.

She worked her ass off to get as good as she was with her magic. The mere _thought_ of people assuming she made a deal for her power pissed her off immensely.

Lina started chanting under her breath, and she held her hands at an angle like she was about to hold a two-handed blade.

Loki's eyes shot open wide in disbelief (and realization) when Lina's Ragna Blade came forth in her hands.

"No way... How in the hell did a sorceress from one of HER worlds come here?!"

"So you recognize this. Good. Then I don't have to tell you that you had better start explaining (and fast) before I use this to cut you in half for pissing me off so thoroughly. And for getting Sam to blame me for crashing his computer again."

"Wait, that was you?" said Dean.

"Well yeah, how could I resist pranking the infamous Winchesters?"

Lina dropped the spell and stared at him.

"You call those pranks? Letting the air out of tires and crashing the computer? What are you, three?" she said incredulous.

"Those were pretty weak... I mean even she can do something better than that off the top of her head while half drunk," said Dean.

"Are you actually critiquing my pranks?" said Loki incredulous.

"Well considering Lina and Dean have been in a prank war since we've gotten married, we have every right to criticize your pranks. They were childish, boring, and only served to irritate others. Not really Trickster material to be honest," said Sam.

He would have expected this out of a kid. Not a Trickster.

"I'm all ears to how you think you can do better?"

"Well for starters last week I laced Dean's room with a clairvoyance spell and recorded him and some floozy going at it...and then gave him a scorecard on how he did the next morning while he was hung over," said Lina.

Loki choked in disbelief.

"Then last month you put a fake snake in his bed and made it look alive with a little fishing line and some recorded snake sounds," said Sam, remembering how loudly Dean had screamed when he thought there was a snake in his bed.

"And let's not forget my favorite pranks... Kool aid and bullion cubes in the showerhead," said Lina.

"I stand corrected. You're definitely more fun than these two," said Loki, impressed in spite of himself.

He might have to drop in on the little sorceress for a quick laugh or two...and to scare the Winchesters.


End file.
